Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Doing Much Better

That last post was still pretty grim, so I thought I'd put an update on here tonight. Today has been a much, much, better day. I haven't had children spontaneously sobbing and coming for hugs and I never broke down and cried until I got to church tonight and a "Mercy" guy asked with great compassion in his eyes and voice how I was doing. But then his "Prophet" wife showed up and confessed that she couldn't leave a comment on my blog because nobody would believe it was sincere. Ha! I love them both so much. :-)

Truthfully, I feel like God really helped us and gave us relief and rest from the deep grief today. I know that sounds silly and way over dramatic to non-dog people (!), but we've truly been grieving around here. But today I've felt peace and not that deep, sick, heavy feeling that had tugged persistently at my heart since Sunday. I still miss Charlie tons and I know that we will for a long time, but I think we're all feeling so much better than we were yesterday. I'm sooooo thankful. And despite what some people think (you know who you are--ha!), it IS worth it to go through the grief. I agree emphatically with Alfred, Lord Tennyson: "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." It's true.

In house news, I LOVE having the kitchen all unpacked! I've still got some odds and ends to work out and I'm sure I'll rearrange things a little bit here and there to see what works best in this kitchen, but it just feels sooooo good to have all of my own pots and pans and Tupperware and... oh, just everything. I can't wait to use it!!! If only I had a stove. Ah, yes, The Stove Story is still in progress, but I sincerely hope to have a conclusion sometime very soon (this week???) and then I'll tell you all about it. I'm still praying for a happy ending. :-)

Today I got the living room furniture all arranged the way that I want it (I think) and leaned the mantle on the wall where it's going to go, even though there's no fireplace there. James thinks it's horribly corny to have a mantle with no fireplace, but it was my Grandmother's mantle and I love the memories and refuse to just shove it in a corner of the garage or basement. I've been looking and gathering ideas and I think I have a plan now. James may even end up liking it in the end. Only time will tell. He's mighty hard to please sometimes. ;-)

Anyway, just before church I busted open a big box that said "Living Room" and started pulling things out to see what I've got. It's been over a year since I boxed up all of our belongings in New Mexico and it's so exciting to start seeing all of the things I had forgotten about! I hit the jackpot with this box. It had most or all of my framed prints--primitive houses or old timey stitch prints with scriptures on them. It made me feel all warm and cozy and homey just pulling them out of the box--I can't wait to hang them on the walls! :-)

No pictures yet, Mom. Soon. :-)

That's about it from here. The house is coming together, slowly but surely, and we're all going to survive losing Charlie. I'm sure there will be some more really rough days, but I'm so, so, so thankful for the relief we experienced today. God is good to us. :-)

2 comments:

Tammy Washburn said...

I'm now staring accusingly at Mike saying, "YOU MADE HER CRY?!!"

I, at least, made you laugh.

Tennyson was a sissy. hahahahahahhahahha!

Vicki Smith said...

HAHAHA! You crack me up, Sister Tammy!
I'm SO happy you had a better day. And I'm so happy you're getting MOVED IN! It will be like Christmas over and over with every box you open.
I'm anxious to hear what your mantle idea is. And I'm dying to see some PICTURES.