Alabama Ladies Retreat 2011... Again

Having two Ladies' Retreats in one year is the best idea anybody ever had. Of course, a week ago I would've hurt anybody who dared to suggest such a thing. HA! It's a ton of work, but it's always so, so, sooooo worth it. :-)

My last post was entitled "Spare Time." HA. I quickly ran out of that. Thursday was a lo-o-o-o-o-o-o-ong day of Retreat prep, mostly baking: cinnamon rolls, poppy seed bread, marsh bars, Clark crackers, cheese bread, and something else I’m forgetting. That night I had to finish up on my lesson… again. I never did get to the place where I felt the big “That’s it” sigh of relief, but I knew I had put lots and lots of prayer and time into it and just had to go in with the hope that God would help me. As it turns out, even during and after the class I never felt just real great about it—Mom felt like she blew it with her class, too—but several people came and thanked us both and asked for our notes, so I guess it couldn’t have been as bad as we had imagined! Ha! I know I put my heart into it and did my best. I just enjoy it a lot more when I can really FEEL the Lord blessing and guiding me while I teach. He was laying low this weekend. ;-) Anyway…

I also worked on a slide-show to accompany my class that night. Got about half done with it before switching gears and trying to come up with some definite decisions about Fun Time. The main criteria: little preparation and no cost! :-) I can’t remember what all else I had to work on that night, but I finally made myself go to bed at 2:00am because I knew it would be dumb to go into a Retreat any more wasted than that. I had been up until 3:00am working on my class the night before and I was already really feeling it!

Friday morning James was a dear and started cooking while I sliced and diced—sausage, bacon, potatoes, eggs, onion, bell pepper… Throw in some cheese and 30 tortillas and you’ve got a pretty big pile of breakfast burritos = brunch for Ladies’ Retreat, along with the fruit salad I threw together, the cinnamon rolls, and these great little banana nut mini-muffins Sister Tammy made. James did all of the cooking for the burritos--all I did was slice and dice and then roll them up and wrap them.

I finally started packing for Retreat (!) and had everything marked off the list in short order. Before I knew it it was 1:00, time to leave. I slapped together a half a peanut butter sandwich and hopped in the van with it. I had been looking forward to driving myself to Retreat and having some nice, peaceful, quiet ALONE time on the way. I had just started to settle in when *wham-o* there was the exit to the campground! I think it took less than an hour and a half to get there and it just wasn't nearly long enough. I had to laugh when I heard some of the gals at Retreat say on Saturday night, "I'd better get to bed--I have to drive home tomorrow." HA! Everything is so CLOSE here. I don't know how you'd even have a chance to get sleepy before reaching your destination, but I guess it's all in your frame of reference. ;-)

I got to the campground an hour or two before registration was to begin, found Campground John, toured the lodge we'd be using, and got busy hauling things in and setting up. Before long Brother & Sister Ridlespurge showed up and he commenced getting the sound system all set up--and taping a cord to the floor so nobody would trip and get hurt. His tape was almost the death of me several times throughout the Retreat, but I know his intentions were good so I forgive him. Ha! The campers started filing in a few at a time and sifting out to either the Talkers room or the Sleepers room--which I heard was actually the Snorers room.

That first night was the same for me as the first night of every other Church function--I felt distracted. I hate that! Especially when I'm supposed to be in charge! I am a horrible moderator and am extremely uncomfortable doing it, but it's ten times worse when I feel distracted and out of it. I decided early on that I'd do as little moderating as possible! Ha! I just handed it over to the devotion and music lady (Sister Allene Cox) and asked her to hand the service over to the guest speaker (Sister Amy Anders) when she was finished. ~whew~ That's relieving. They both did an AMAZING job.

Sister Cox passed out paper that had been aged (I kept sniffing mine to enjoy the coffee smell that still lingered), rolled, and tied with a ribbon. Our theme was "The Knowledge of His Will" from Colossians 1:9 and she spoke of His will as a last will and testament--the things that He has given to us... IF we meet the trust stipulations. Wow! She is so amazingly creative and the things she had to share were so, so, sooooo good. The first night she talked about God granting us peace from our past failures (forgiveness) IF we practice forgiveness ourselves. The next devotion conveyed the promise of joy in our homes IF we keep our homes free from pollutants from without and within. The third promised total access to God's wardrobe and collection of apparel IF we yield our own thoughts and desires concerning fashion to Him. And the fourth devotion promised the victory of the Lord and peace to sleep restfully knowing that no enemy can penetrate the perimeter of our home and family IF we place our trust in His strength, adorn ourselves with it, and apply His principles to our lives and families.

She shared so many things that were sooooo... convicting! She talked a lot about our relationship with our husband and our duties to him. She read and excerpt from a 1950's home economics textbook teaching girls how to be good housewives. I just now Googled it and copied it from the blog she was reading from:

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
• Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
• Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
• Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
• Be happy to see him.
• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
• Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
• Your goal: To try and make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
• Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.
• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
• Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
• A good wife always knows her place.

And here’s an excerpt of the “modern” Good Wife’s guide, written by a reader of the woman’s blog. She thought she was very clever, too:

• Be sure he has good, easy to follow directions to the quality restaurants that deliver curbside. This way when he arrives home he’ll have exactly what he wants for dinner and it will be ready when he arrives and you get fed too. You can be a dear and call in the order. We know how he doesn’t like to do that.
• Prepare yourself…a good cocktail will work.
• Be a little gay (we now know this means happy) The cocktail will relax you and you’ll appear to be happy when he arrives
• Clear away clutter today this means turn the computer off and the tv on and kick stuff out of the way to make a straight path to the tv. That’s all he’ll notice.

Do I even need to continue? Doesn’t the love and respect for her husband just ooze out? Here’s a few more just to drive the point home…

• Be happy to see him.. This may take several cocktails.
• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him….more cocktails.
• Listen to him. This should be getting easy now after several cocktails.
• He’s coming home with a great dinner and if he’s late make sure he knows how to use the microwave to reheat; if he really comes home late and without dinner have your dinner delivered and eat without him (just be sure he pays for your dinner when he does get home). No need to try to understand his world of strain, you were out there all day too.

Of course, as Sister Cox was reading the 1950's version there was plenty of laughter. It all seems a little extreme, doesn't it? Even for the ladies who truly try to be good, submissive wives--by the time she got to the "fluffing his pillow" part toward the end--well, we were all goners! Ha! But as she began reading the modern version and you see the contrast not only in the duties (or lack of them) but in the spirit that drives them, suddenly the first list didn't seem quite so ridiculous after all. The whole outlook and philosophy about women and wives has changed so much in the past few decades and digressed from (like it or not) a much more biblical, reverent attitude to a selfish, lazy, irreverent one. The latter would disgust any woman with a heart for God who knows anything at all about what the Bible has to say about marriage. Needless to say, there was plenty of conviction floating around in the room by the time that devotion was over with! Ha! It's strange. Upon hearing the words submit, honour, reverence, and obey (the words used in the Bible) in connection with our husbands, the initial response is to feel like it just isn't fair. But we saw over and over again throughout the weekend--scripturally--that it is not only our duty before God, but also our honor and privilege to do so! And we were shown the great joy that comes when we fulfill the "trust stipulations" and yield our will and our way to GOD'S will and GOD'S way.

One lady (you can guess who--HA!) said to me, "So, you're telling me we all paid good money to come up here and feel like dirt?! My husband never feels like dirt when he comes home from Men's Retreat!" I told her I'd mention that last part to my husband and see if he can pull some strings and do something about that. HA!

There was also good instruction on raising your kids--and reminders of the promises of God when we do things as He has outlined in His word for us to do. Sister Cox shared that there are three important elements involved in training: 1) Tell them; 2) Give it to them in writing (Bible); and 3) Show them by example. She also reminded us that every moment of the day we are programing our children. WOW. God, help me to do so much better!!! I want to be a better wife and a better Mom. I NEED to be.

Okay, it's all jumbled up but those are actually things that were shared all throughout the Retreat, not just in Sister Cox's devotions.

Sister Amy preached such good, solid, anointed messages throughout the weekend. She took the approach that in order to be find the knowledge of God's will, we must first be on His wheel--her first message was about the potter cleaning out the middle portion of a vessel as He molds it (getting rid of our own will) and making it into what He wants it to be, the second was on going through the fire and allowing the trials and hard times to make us stronger and able to endure and shine better for the Lord just as a vessel benefits from the fire, and the third was about being used of God to accomplish His purposes just as a vessel isn't intended to just sit empty, it is intended to serve a purpose. Good, good stuff.

I taught a jumbled up class about a wide assortment of disjointed thoughts (ha!), the main thrust (I think?) being the difference between the clamorous woman mentioned in Proverbs and the meek and quiet spirited woman mentioned in 1 Peter. Mom's class was on the Titus 2 woman and detailed all of those touchy women subjects that Sister Cox was already pouncing all over--being a keeper at home (yes, we learned about our responsibilities around the house and that we should always be within just a few minutes of being company ready. Oops. Gotta do better on that one, too!), and about loving your husband and being obedient to him, loving your children and the proper way to really do that (the two points I most recall are that you love them by loving and honoring their dad and you love them by practicing biblical discipline--that does not include "time out," but does include the old fashioned way!), oh, all kinds of good stuff. By Saturday afternoon I was already feeling sort of like I was on overload. There had been so much good information and teaching and preaching and so many things to absorb and that need to be applied to my life--it's like I wasn't sure I could take any more in at all, but it just kept coming. I was so thankful that I had opted to go for Prayer Groups this time instead of TAP Groups (best idea ever, Emilee--thank you!!!) because it cut down on having any more instruction and information and provided more time to pray and talk to God, which is really what we needed.

I found it amazing that in this Retreat that focused so much on marriage and families, it applied to each and every lady there. In fact, the ONLY unmarried person there was our guest speaker--and God used her to bless us all. There were no widows there or people in situations that would have made the things taught irrelevant. And I was sooooo blessed to hear the testimonies about how the different ladies were touched and convicted and blessed by the Retreat. One girl told me as we were leaving, "Best Retreat ever!" I've heard several more echo that sentiment and it just makes me so happy! I love it when God really and truly speaks to our hearts and shows us our failings and what He expects of us--and when we are sensitive to it and respond in humility and repentance. ~Aaaaaaahhhh~ It just feels so good. And it's SO EXCITING to see a whole little group of ladies responding like they did! They would testify one at a time about how "this whole Retreat was JUST FOR ME." There were only 19 of us there, but it really felt like God just sort of hand-picked each one for such a special and life-changing weekend. It was GREAT.

Let's see, what else... Fun time was one of those things I never asked anybody to do so I ended up doing it myself. As much as I love HAVING fun, I'm very poor at organizing it! The last game wasn't nearly as fun as the write-up implied it would be, but the first three were good. :-) We did a Bingo-type game where you had to mill around and find people who fit each category. Then we had two teams of five do a caterpillar race. They stand in a line with their hands on the shoulders of the person in front of them. The girl in front hops, then the next girl, then the next until they get to the end of the line. When the last girl hops she shouts the team name and they all hop once together, then start again one at a time. I'm not sure it was every played properly and according to the rules, but it was great fun to watch anyway!

(I managed once again to take NO pictures of Retreat, so I stole some that Sister Emily posted on Facebook and I'm hoping she doesn't sue me. HA!) Here are a few shots of the Caterpillar Races...







Then we had two teams of five who had to line up quickly in order of whatever we shouted (age, shoe size, birthday, height)--but they were all blindfolded. HA! That was great, too, especially because one team one EVERY time (I didn't realize Cindy Anders and both of her daughters were on one team, along with a sister-in-law, making it much easier for them) and the other team ALWAYS just stood there for a few minutes looking completely bewildered and confused--especially Emily Wallace. My Mom was cracking up over it and finally demonstrated "The Emily Face" for her so she'd know what she looks like. She said it's her thinking face. HA! We didn't get any pictures of Sister Emily actually doing "The Emily," but these are fun anyway...

Sister Marie seemed to totaly misplace her team and Mom was helping her get back into line. :-)


This is a picture of some of the girls who climbed the mountain. Some of them do this every year during free time on Saturday afternoon. I share the picture not because I was there (I wasn't... I'd been looking forward to that nap for three or four days! Ha!), but because I think it's a great shot. And I'm hoping it will inspire me to join them next year. :-)



Saturday night after service we played Guesstures all the way through TWICE, with six or seven players on each team! That takes a while (!), but everybody was having a blast and laughing a whole lot. All I can say about that one is that Marie Warren is CRAZY!!! Ha! She was the one who really struggled with the idea of leaving her husband and little boy at home to take care of one another. She finally got over that and was determined to come. And I'm pretty sure she'll never miss another Ladies' Retreat as long as she lives. Ha! It was great having her there.

Some of us also played Bananagrams and I think I'm addicted. I must have that game. I've seen on Facebook and blogs that other people had it and seemed to love it, but it really looked too much like Scrabble to be much fun. I was wrong. I love it. Must have it. And must find other people who like fast-paced word games to play it with me. Like, every day. HA! Maybe Katie and Joe will fall in love with it, too. :-)

Hhmmm. Seems like there are a bunch of other things I could share about the Retreat, but this is already way, way long. To sum up: it was fantastic. :-) And I am feeling more and more at home all the time here. I still miss the folks out west (especially when I think about the fantastic Ladies' Retreat THEY'RE going to have in a few weeks... without me!!!), but I'm so thankful that God has placed me in a location with so many wonderful people who are hungry for God and His ways. I was even thinking about how great it was that we had these two Retreats 6 months apart instead of having to wait a whole year like normal--because it enabled me to spend some more time with the ladies and really get to know them better. I'm feeling a little more like one of them. And I love that. I hate being the new kid and like things so much better when I'm just one of the girls! :-)

~whew~ Ramble, ramble, ramble.

Sister Ridlespurge rode home with me because we realized I could get all the sound equipment in my van and it would be silly for her husband to drive all the way up there to get her (a whole hour--ha!) when I could just take her and all the stuff with me. We had a nice trip home and confessed all of our wifely faults to each other (Mom said at Retreat that we had to confess or we'd most likely forget and not follow through with what God laid on our hearts, so we got right to it--ha!) and met up with our families--and Brother Grimes--at Bojangles. It felt so good to eat some real food instead of JUNK. I ate sooooo much junk this weekend! ~Bleagh~

I was soooooo tired Sunday afternoon. Brother Hopkins had us Retreat ladies testify that night and I have no clue what I said (I can't sort things out that quickly after getting home--and I was too exhausted to think anyway!), but was so blessed by hearing Sister Washburn and Sister Ridlespurge testify. After church we all waited around for a while until the men were done with their meeting (better than a business conference--we girls could sit and talk this way! Ha!), then we finished off the rest of the breakfast burritos that were left over from Retreat and some more of the junk food we'd brought home. We made it home at about 10:30, but it felt way, way later than that! By the time we got all unloaded and had checked e-mail and all of that I think it was midnight.

Our whole family slept in on Monday and I was soooooo glad! (So much for Day 1 of being a better wife and mom! HA!) I finally got up, but took a while to get rolling. I stripped the sheets, got the laundry going, and started cleaning the bathroom, then we finally started school after lunch. Easy day for Katie and Sam, not so much for Joe. But then, Joe is way too easily distracted and could have been finished much sooner if he would just concentrate!

I did manage to make a nice dinner for my husband and kids (would've felt backslidden after this Retreat if I didn't at least do that much! Ha!)--parmesan chicken and spaghetti. There were still lots of goodies left over from Retreat, so no need to make dessert. Later that night I sat down with a piece of warm homemade gingerbread topped with whipped cream and a cup of hot spiced cider. ~Aaaaaahhhh~ And all was right with the world. :-) It's what life should be like in the fall. Now to start praying for some snow... (I said that for Sister Washburn's sake! Ha!)

Today has been a nice day. James has gone to pray with somebody at the hospital. The kids are finished with school, Katie is crafting something in her room, the boys are outside with a saw, some sort of hedge clippers, a boulder and lots and lots of fallen tree branches--forming a little fort or house of some kind. Charlie keeps disappearing into the woods with Brady, being gone for lo-o-o-o-o-ong periods of time. I can go out and start calling for them and after a few minutes the two of them will burst out of the woods and across the field at warp speed, ears flopping happily behind them. They are such an unlikely pair and it just cracks me up the way the hang out together! Sometimes I see them laying out in the sun, napping together. They'll probably miss each other whenever we move into our own house.

Ah, yes! The house situation! It just won't end. HA! It's amazing and miraculous that it HASN'T ended dozens of times already! Technically, yesterday was the day we were supposed to close on the house. But we learned that the real estate company the house is listed with had the place winterized before the appraiser went out there (HA! --What will they screw up next?!) so he couldn't check any of the utilities. Hahahahaha! It's just incredible. Laura says she has NEVER seen anything so crazy in her life, that this house ordeal is one in a million. So we applied for an extention of the closing date (surely they'll accept it since it was THEIR fault we can't close, not ours???) and ordered a rush on the final appraisal. Though anything is possible and it's not a done deal until the ink is dried on the papers on the very last day (!), every indication is that the bank IS going to loan to us in spite of the mold and other little issues that need taken care of. Wow!!! More miracles?! If only the water will run, the water heater will heat, the furnaces will blow and the lights will turn on, we should be all set. As far as we know. ;-) The crazed real estate company DID to an amazing thing by having the house de-winterized the day after we found out about it having been done in the first place (wow!) and rumor is that the appraiser is supposed to be out there TODAY and get his report back to the bank right away. Sooooo... we're still praying and trusting and waiting. And for the first time I actually feel expectant rather than just hopeful. Either God really and truly is going to place this amazing house with three acres a mile away from the church into our hands (!), or He's going to teach me some more lessons through allowing it to fall through all over again. Cool. I'm game for either one. Though I would certainly prefer option #1. :-)

Oh, wait! I almost forgot the best Ladies' Retreat picture of all! This is the whole group (minus Susan Mason, who took the picture) demonstrating "The Emily"... HA!