The West vs. The South

Sounds like the kind of a post where I could get myself in big trouble and make some serious enemies for myself, doesn't it?! HA! I'm hoping to avoid both of those possibilities.

I've noticed a thousand and two things that are different "down here" from how they were "out there"--some good, some bad. In the end, each location has certain things that are a credit to them and make them quite desirable, and others that are not so hot.

The South definitely gets points for friendliness. You can just get out of the car to pump some gas and chances are that within five minutes you're going to know all about Leroy over at the next pump, where he's coming from, who he's related to, and what his plans are this afternoon. Out West strangers just don't mingle like that. People are more suspicious and aloof. Sometimes downright snobbish. Ah yes, to add to their score, the South gets points for people being much more polite and respectful. "Yes'um."

The South immediately looses the points just earned for having friendly people because they have sooooooooooooooo many of them!!! It's great that they are friendly, but good gracious--why on earth do they all have to pile up in one spot?! There is a great big world out there just waiting to be inhabited (I think it was one of the first orders God gave, isn't it?!) so why, oh, why are there 8,000 people on one little stretch of country highway, gomming up the works all the time?! Really folks, some of ya'll ought to head out to Wyoming. They've got room for ya'. ;-)

The South gets some more points for just being laid back instead of always rushing around trying to accomplish things that don't matter anyway. People here have a more "ah, whatever" approach to life and are content to just mosey their way through and enjoy the ride.

The South loses said points because they're always moseying in front of ME when I'm ready to GET somewhere!!! HA! It would do us native westerners well to learn to relax and slow down a bit, but for real--35 miles per hour in a 55 zone??? When 55 is sooooo rare already (you're usually stuck with 40)--that's just madness and it does NOT help to calm me down and relax, I assure you. And it happens all... the... time. Weird-o's.

The South gets points for so much lush greenery. It is beautiful here and the greens are so bright and vibrant--I'm pretty sure I've seen more GREEN in the past three months than I've seen the whole rest of my life put together. I love that it's bright and happy.

The South then loses the points for all that growth because of everything that is living IN it. We have been itching and scratching and being eaten alive ever since we arrived--even those of us who do our best to live indoors with the air conditioning all the time. The man to bug ratio here is completely out of control. You lose points for that. A LOT of points. ;-) Not to mention all of the poisonous plants--what's up with that, anyway?!

The West.

People in general are not nearly as friendly and neighborly in the West, so that starts them out in the negative. But they recoup those lost points and then some for the amazing unity of the Church folks there. I've never seen such a tight-knit group of people who make such amazing sacrifices for one another and The Church of God, and think nothing of it. Where else are you going to find people glad to drive 6 or 8 or 12 hours just for the privilege of being together and worshipping God with one another? It's a strictly western thing--and not just from our old region either. It's like that in Brother Bock's region in the Dakotas and out in the Northwest Region--it's just normal out west. The life and the land was rough and it took a tough, hardy, rugged group of people to settle there. It seems like some of that tough get-'er-done mentality is still around and people are willing to make great sacrifices--though they don't consider them to be sacrifices. I love that about them. :-)

The West gets points for the Rocky Mountains--tall, majestic, rugged, snow capped mountains--the real McCoy. And brilliant blue skies with puffy white clouds. Crisp clean air. And--something I've found to be truly invaluable--WIDE OPEN SPACES. Feel free to dock them some serious points if you're the kind of person who doesn't like desolation. I personally throw some extra points in for that. There have been a few times when I've felt a little big claustrophobic in the South. There are so many PEOPLE and CARS and TREES and BUILDINGS and you never really leave civilization, you just move from one town to the next without knowing it. What I wouldn't give to drive through Wyoming some days! Ha! Hours and hours of... nothing. :-) Did I already mention Wyoming? I've always loved that state but it hold a whole new appeal now that I'm living as far away from "the middle of nowhere" as can possibly exist. Sometimes the middle of nowhere is a nice place to be, you know? ;-)

The West gets serious points for clean restrooms. For the first two months here we were fully convinced that there is not a clean public restroom in the entire state of Alabama. The West has gross restrooms too, but there are plenty that are well kept and clean. We miss them. Ha! Maybe most people don't think of things like that but when you do a lot of travelling, well... We've finally located two clean restrooms--both in Jack's (a fast food joint) in different cities here in Alabama. I don't know what we order there, but I know we're not afraid of the restrooms. Hence, we like Jack's.

The South and the West both get points for Blue Bell ice cream. :-)

The West gets points for cowboys. Real, true-blue, dust covered cowboys in boots and spurs and Stetson hats that don't look like Stetsons anymore.

The South gets points for the best bar-b-que.

The West gets points for best Mexican.

The South gets points for some really great white cheese dip with their Mexican food that we never had out west.

And now the real reason I started thinking about all of the differences. The South is much easier, in so many ways. I'm referring to outreach and stuff like that. The South, in general, is so much more churched than the West is. I've never seen so many church buildings in my life--one on every little corner! Most people here grew up going to church and even if they're not serving God and not intending to, they'll still attend on occasion and are much more OPEN to spiritual or religious things. Out West it is much, much, MUCH more difficult to get visitors to come to services or even to pass out tracts or talk to people about God. So many people out there have never been churched and have no interest in those things. It's like you have to work and scrape for very little results out there--including fund raising. We have washed cars and baked until we're about to drop, sold candy bars door to door, worked for weeks collecting sponsors for Walk-a-thons (in which some walked 24 miles in a day), we've stood on the corner with Krispy Kremes--all kinds of stuff like that. You have to work yourself to death for every penny that comes in, and sometimes the pennies just don't come in--you never can tell.

Then there's the South. We had a fundraiser today to try to help our Bessemer folks go to Family Camp. We didn't bake anything. We didn't wash any cars. We didn't knock on any doors. We didn't do any working or walking or selling of any kind. We just panhandled. No, it's not a joke--that's what we did. A whole crew showed up with buckets to collect the money in and poster board signs that said "Please help us go to The Church of God Family Camp." We went to a busy intersection right down the road from the church, split into 5 or 6 groups to cover cars coming and going different directions, and... STOOD THERE. That's it. That's all we did. Just like all the dudes with the cardboard signs saying "Hungry--Please Help". We just stood there. Just stood and smiled and waved and watched the dough roll in. Okay, so it didn't seem like it was really rolling in at the time and there were some long lulls (at least for my group), but still. The plan was to meet at 8:30 (though our family forgot about it until 8:15 this morning and thus arrived an hour late--that's another story) and stay until about noon. After four hours of panhandling (admit it Bessemer folks--that's exactly what it was!) we went through some drive thru's and headed back to the church to eat lunch and add up the loot.

Are you prepared for this?

No, really--are you sitting down? You want to sit down.

$952.00

COULD YOU DIE?!?!? There is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WAY you could do something like that out West--people aren't going to just give you money like that. I still can't get over it--it's CRAZY! A good, wonderful sort of crazy. I mean, as long as it's okay with God for us to be just begging and all. Ha! We did hand out over 300 tracts today and invited several people to church, so I think it's all good. ;-)

Brother and Sister Ridlespurge were there with their four grandkids, Sister Kristal and her two kids, Sister Dudley and Joshua, Brother Chris and Sister Stacy Parker and their two, our family, Brother Hopkins and Brother Booth. I LOVED IT that Brother Hopkins and Brother Booth were both there! I love a pastor who supports and takes part, even when he doesn't necessarily have to. And Brother Booth--he's in his 60's (I'm guessing) and he was there the entire time and never took a break to get out of the heat and sun like most everybody else did. I think I heard that he lives a good ways away, so he had to drive a while to get there--and I don't think he even goes to Camp! But he was there to help us raise money. HOW SWEET. And he just looked so cute out there in his cowboy hat--he got all of the truckers' donations for us. :-)

So we stood around and roasted and came away with terrific sunburns (I might even peel--and I never peel) and a thousand dollars. Brother Booth had been praying for that much so when we got back to the church and discovered we were less than $50 away we split up the difference three or four ways and made it just over the hump. He'll be so thrilled when he finds out tomorrow morning at church. :-)

Grand total: $1,003.00.

Amazing.

We are soooooo thankful and simply astounded at having come away with so much. Praise God!!!
The bad thing about it is now we're never going to want to WORK for anything again--it's like a welfare system. Stand around and do nothing and expect other people to pay your way. Why in the world WOULD you kill yourself over a bake sale or something when all you have to do is spend $10 for some poster board and markers and *voila* you've got $1,000 in four hours?! HA! I'm sure God will keep us humble and focused and probably make us actually WORK to earn some money next time. But for now, we're thankful that He so abundantly blessed our panhandling. ;-)

We hung out and visited at the church for a few hours, either because we were having so much fun, or because we were in shock over how much money we'd made, or because we were simply too hot and tired to go home. In any case, it was GREAT. There was a bit of a snake scare, but in the end we think we've discovered that the six footer is a chicken snake (had to look it up when we got home--even Joe didn't know it by that name; the same snake is also known as a rat snake or a corn snake) and harmless. Harmless meaning it can't kill you if it bites you. No snake is truly harmless however because you can severely hurt yourself when you see one unexpectedly. ;-) And "harmless" or not, I'm relatively sure this snake is enjoying the last few days of it's life right now. I learned today that some of our church men are capable of producing machetes on command (What--do you keep that thing in your back pocket?! Where did it come from???) and others are only waiting for an excuse to run and get the shotgun. I'm really not sure if the South gets points for that, or loses some... HA!

So there you have it. Our exciting day. We left the church at 3:30 or 4:00, and MOSEYED our way back home, stopping by Hobby Lobby to pick up some water color paints for Katie and some Balsa wood planes for the boys--both of which have already been broken, I think. We also stopped to pick up some rubbing alcohol (advice for getting rid of chiggers that Joe has been attacked by--10 point penalty for the South) and something to sooth red, sore, sunburny skin. We also had to grab a few groceries, including the best and sweetest watermelon I've had in AGES--it was soooooo good. (Point for the South!) Now we're home, the kids have been showered and alcoholed (ha!) and are fast asleep. I've been awaiting my turn for a nice cool shower and it looks like that time has come. ~Aahhhh~ I can't wait. :-)

Disclaimer: Texans are extremely friendly. I need to clarify that both because it's true and because I know Tammy Kaufman will be ready to defend them after reading the "southerners are nice; westerners are rude" part up above. Ha!