Saturday, September 26, 2009

The Maddening Drip

Ever had a leaky faucet? The kind that just won’t stop dripping? No matter what you do, it’s a constant “plink… plink… plink… plink-plink-plink... plink... plink... plink... plink-plink... plink..." I’ve been dealing with it all day long today except far, far worse. I only wish I had a leaky faucet.

My leak is in my nose and I’m going a little wacko because of it. I can’t get anything done because I’m having to catch the drip every 5 or 10 seconds. It’s ridiculous and soooooo annoying. I keep wondering how much leakage, shall we say, a person can lose in a day without dehydrating or something. I’ve proven that it’s at least 3 pints. Or at least the bags full of used Kleenex’s would imply something like that. I’ve carried a box of Kleenex around with me all day today and am in need of a fresh tissue every 5 minutes or so. Good thing James bought 2 boxes yesterday. At this rate we’ll need more by tomorrow night. I think maybe we’ll stop at Sam’s Club after church tomorrow and buy a whole case of them.

After a day of blowing and wiping non-stop, my nose is so red and sore and just screams at me if I get within six inches of it with another tissue. My family told me earlier that the way I look my nose is going to just fall off if I keep wiping it. I sure hope so. That sounds like the greatest thing that could happen about now. A little while ago I went and laid down flat on my back and tilted my head up, just to try to get a few minutes of relief from having to wipe it again. You know you’ve got it bad when you’re in that position and your nose starts welling up and oozing over the edge anyway. (Sorry to be gross, but after the day I’ve had I’m in no mood to be discreet.) It’s absurd. I’d rather have a fever and a headache and be laid up in bed (at least then you can try to sleep it off) than to feel fine otherwise but have a nose that requires a tissued hand attend to it every few seconds while the rest of you feels fine, rendering you a one-handed mother, teacher, ironer, dishwasher… Besides the red and throbbing nose, I’ve noticed over the past two or three hours that it seems to have affected my psychologically as well. (You never would have guessed, I’m sure, by the mere fact that I’ve spent 3 paragraphs on the subject of a runny nose… so far.) I’ve heard myself say, “WHAT???” in a not-as-nice-as-I’d-like-to-be tone to pretty much any question I’ve been asked. Which is A WHOLE LOT (of questions, that is) since Joe is working hard to finish up his Maps & Geography book tonight and is teeming with questions that could easily be avoided if he’d just READ THE STUPID DIRECTIONS AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE!!! ~sigh~ I’m exhausted. He’s a tough one to teach. A little while ago the conversation went like this:

Joe: Mom, what continent is to the west of Asia? I don’t have a map.

[Like he’s not working in a MAPS & GEOGRAPHY book that is packed FULL of maps… dork…)

Mom: Come on, Joe, you know this. Think hard. Close your eyes and look at the map in your brain… Do you see Asia?

Joe: I see mashed potatoes.

HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO TEACH A KID LIKE THAT???

Anyway. Back to my nose… (Aren’t you glad for that?! Ha!)

My husband agreed that, considering my unsanitary condition, I shouldn’t make dinner tonight. So he—wonderful man that he is—made chicken parmesan and spaghetti for the family! WOW!!! And that’s AFTER (now get this!!! – DRUM ROLL, PLEASE…) HE, James Richard Horne, has been PAINTING!!! And (this is even better), I HAVE NOT!!! Wa-Hoo!!!!!! I can’t begin to tell you how grand life is right now! (Aside from my nose condition, of course…) The building that he finished out to be his office never had been painted. We had enough log siding left over from the house to cover the front of it, but the other three sides needed to be painted. So yesterday, while I folded and stapled the regional papers and figured out how to get the mailing list to print the labels correctly (all usually James’ job), HE was outside with a roller and a brush, PAINTING!!! Wa-Hoo!!! I’m SO THRILLED to have traded jobs with him for a day! Ha! He did a great job and the office is ADORABLE, mostly because he painted the door green. :-) All little log cabins should have a green door. James says it looks like a Ranger Station. Ha! I should get a cardboard Smokey the Bear to put on the porch with a little wheel that tells if the fire danger is high, moderate, or low. ;-)

Get this. Katie cheated at school again. Who would have thought it possible with Switched on Schoolhouse?! It’s not like she can look up the answers! But as I’ve been grading her work I’ve noticed two memory verses that she’d typed in perfectly… but I’d never heard her mention or practice before. Katie is not the kind of kid to NOT MENTION… well, anything! Ha! You always know what she’s done, what she’s doing, and what she’s going to do. She’s a master conversationalist. ;-) Anyway, come to find out, when it’s been time to type in her memory verses she’s been getting her Bible out and just copying them over! Ha! Not that it’s funny. ~sigh~ So now she has to write out each verse (there were two she did that with) in its entirety 10 times, 5 in print and 5 in cursive, before she’s allowed to do any of her actual work for that day. I’m thinking we’ll keep it up for a week or so. I’m hoping to hone in on the cure for her cheating at some point before it turns into criminal activity. Ha! (That’s not funny either, is it…) I know I wasn’t totally honest as a kid and I’m sure I cheated occasionally. But the classic difference between Katie and me is CONSCIENCE. I had a very tender one and would feel crummy for doing such things. I’ve always been a confessor. I rarely have to be confronted for something I’ve done wrong; I usually come forward before anybody else even has a chance to figure it out. Katie doesn’t seem to feel any remorse except in her punishment. She’s altogether too confident and self-assured to feel guilt! Ha! (Why do I keep saying that after things that are not funny???) It’s just the difference in personalities, I guess. She’ll just need extra help learning to be honest since she doesn’t seem to have the natural “I can’t believe I just did that—I feel like scum!” gene that I was lucky (???) enough to get. From somewhere… hhmmm… ;-)

Let’s see… What else? Not that it matters. Nobody ever blogs on the weekend. It’s been a crazy kind of a week around here. Wednesday was the day that I was feeling really crummy, then Thursday I felt terrific—just the tiniest bit of a sore throat, but otherwise great and even had lots of energy and was quite productive. Then yesterday I felt sort of in between; not as crummy as Wednesday but not as great as Thursday. And today my nose… okay, I’ll spare you any more. ;-)

I have managed to get a good chunk of ironing done throughout the day, though I’m scared to figure what percentage of it I have left. I think we ought to burn everything but 3 shirts and 2 skirts/pants for each individual in this household. We can’t possibly need all of these clothes, can we???

Apparently I have nothing worthwhile to talk about tonight. I’m really just biding my time until the kids go to bed (20 minutes left!) and then I’m going to go soak in a hot, hot bath. A little while ago I plunged my hands into hot, soapy dishwater and instantly realized that that would feel really good all over! (Minus the dishes…) I’ve been so aggravated over my nose today and wearing out and getting edgier by the hour and I think it’s even made my body tense and achy. Pitiful. “Scalpel!!!” You don’t think anybody would notice if I went to church noseless tomorrow, do you? If I ever feel like I need one again I can just buy some of those Groucho glasses and cut the mustache off, right? ;-)

7 comments:

Tammy Washburn said...

hahahaahaha! (About the mash potatoes & the Groucho nose part!...not the runny nose part. I would hate that too.

I think I got the same gene you have. I have always had a very over-developed sense of conscience. I just gave up trying bad stuff as a kid very early on...because I would just fess up before I got caught anyway!

I hate painting too. My husband and I are like the three stooges when we paint....useless.

Jamey said...

Sorry about the runny nose. YOu should just roll up a tissue and stick it in each side of your nose. Change them out when needed. Not the most comfortable or the best looking but when your desperate none of the rest of that matters. Praying for you.

cokelady said...

Sister Tammy -- Most of the time I've considered the sensitive conscience a great blessing. But there are times when it's terrible... like when you just CAN'T STOP FEELING LIKE A HEEL over some stupid, tiny little thing that you've already made right. Like when a kid in your Sunday School class cuts himself on your watch... ;-)

Jamey -- I would be glad to try that... but only if you'll send me a picture of yourself demonstrating the method for me! Ha! I can't possibly make myself do otherwise. James does it all the time when he has a bloody nose and it DRIVES ME CRAZY! "Don't you have any SHAME, man?!" But if you send a picture, I promise I'll do it! ;-)

Vicki Smith said...

You crack me up! --Hope you get your leak fixed.

J Nowling said...

Just think of the poor people out there who are never privileged enought to have their nose run or to ever blow their nose....actually I use to be on. My sinuses were so impacted that they never drained they just got infected. YEARS ago I had to have them cleaned out and there's been a time or two my nose wasn't a drip it was sieve but it was so much better then the pressure where I felt my head was going to explode. But my nose AND lips would get so sore, I was sure I looked like Rudolph. I think Jamey and you should both try Jamey's idea and let us know how it worked but more importantly how it looked. You both are so funny.

Rebekah Doran said...

Ha, Becki, you are so funny. Only you could write about a runny nose and make it interesting and humorous. lol I do hope that you feel better today and that your nose isn't dripping so much. I think that Jamey had a very good idea, that would be a picture worth posting. ;-)

Jacob is the same way, he has that "over-developed sense of conscience". I hope Katie is learning her lesson through all that writing.

I see I missed one of your posts. How did I do that? Oh well, I 'll have to come back and read it later when school is done (if Jacob will let me on the computer.) :)

Tammy Washburn said...

Sis. Beck said:
[QUOTE]Sister Tammy -- Most of the time I've considered the sensitive conscience a great blessing. But there are times when it's terrible... like when you just CAN'T STOP FEELING LIKE A HEEL over some stupid, tiny little thing that you've already made right. Like when a kid in your Sunday School class cuts himself on your watch... ;-)[/QUOTE]


Sis. Tammy says:
hahahaahhahahahahahhahahaha!
so true...so true. :P