Monday, October 31, 2011

A GOOD Day

I posted about my bad day today. Now I'll post about our GOOD day yesterday. :-)

Sunday School went well with Sam & Zack and we made lots of fun little fall-leafy-crafts. Not sure they ever got the CONCEPT I was shooting for with the lesson, but I know I tried hard! At least we had crafts... ;-)

James had been asked to preach yesterday morning and he preached a great message. I was so blessed--and felt like perhaps God was giving me some direction and inspiration through it for the class I'm supposed to teach next weekend! Wa-Hoo!

After church we had a pot-luck to raise funds for World Missions. I had been asked to bring lasagna, so I did. James had been dying to make a green chili chicken enchilada to take to a pot-luck here and this was finally his chance! We got there and found that there were two or three pans of lasagna, several pots of spaghetti, garlic bread, salad fixings... and enchilada. HA! Nobody said anything about it being an ITALIAN meal, so James didn't know any better. :-) It didn't seem to matter though--there were no enchilada left-overs.

After the meal there were several of us that just stayed at the church for most or all of the afternoon. It was so nice! I really should have taken play clothes for my family to play in, but I somehow didn't realize that we'd need them. No matter. My boys played football all afternoon in full suits--until I finally stripped their jackets off of them. They looked ready for the game in their shirts and ties then. Ha!

I took very few pictures--though I did take some this time and that's an improvement! Maybe even a first around here, I'm not sure. Brother Washburn somehow got roped into playing kickball with Katie, Katie, and Madison. The two Katie's were team captains and chose took turns choosing their teams. HA! It was hilarious! Katie F. went first and chose Madison, leaving my Katie only one choice: Brother Washburn. "Uummm... okay, I guess I'll pick you!" ;-) I don't know how they kept up with the game with all of the "ghost runners" on the bases all the time, but Brother Mike was kept pretty busy kicking and running there for a while. I was worried he might have a heart attack or something! Ha! It was a great game to watch.


Here are the boys playing flag football and Sister Washburn walking around in the foreground searching for the pipes in the ground so the volleyball net could be put up. Nobody ever found them, though they searched and searched and searched--metal detector and all.

I somehow got roped into a game of horseshoes. I haven't played horseshoes in years--if I've ever played a real game. Brother Ridlespurge gave us some pointers. Here he is showing James how it's done. Look at that form...

Sister Ridlespurge and Brother Booth playing at the opposite end...

And good form or not, check out this shot. :-) He's pointing to his horseshoe that used to be a ringer and I'm pointing to mine--that knocked his out of the way. Oh, happy day. Playing horseshoes is fun, after all!

Thanks to Brother Carpenter scoring lots of points, we won. It was much more fun than I would have expected, being an old man game and all. ;-)

We watched the WMB video in church last night and I was so blessed--again. I just love those. It felt so good to just be in church and with church people all day yesterday. It was a wonderful break from the Monstrosity and I loved being able to just get away--mentally more than physically--and it felt like everything was just so refreshing to me.

Ah, yes. Speaking of the Monstrosity... Sam decided to build it out of Legos a few days ago. Ha! I know you can't really tell in the pictures, but his model has a full basement, a first floor--complete with a light rigged up to a battery pack, and an upstairs. It also has four pillars out front and the muscadine awning thing off the end of the house. :-)

You Win Some, You Lose Some

Today I lost.

I hate it when people get on the Internet and throw out little blips about how horrible their day is. I'd rather do an all-out rant. Naw, not really. It hasn't been a bad day. It just felt like it. Ha! Or perhaps "worthless" would be a better description than "bad."

James mentioned just staying home today instead of going to work on the Monstrosity. I said I figured we really ought to go work while we can since we'll be gone to Youth Retreat this weekend and I'll be at Tennessee Ladies' Retreat next weekend. The house isn't going to get ready for us to move in all by itself, you know. It needs TONS of work and we really ought to take every opportunity we have to get things accomplished there. ~sigh~ It all sounded good in my head and even when it came out of my mouth, I thought.

James said yeah, I was probably right. He didn't feel like going to town (none of us really felt like it...), but we loaded up and went anyway. I can't remember what James worked on, but my one and only goal was to finish getting all of the wallpaper out of the house. Except the peacocks. We all know they'll be with me forever. Aside from them, the only remaining paper was in the chapel/den/library room (because somebody who needs to be shot put a world globe border on top of beautiful tongue and groove wood) and then the entire guest room.

The border in the library room came down okay, though I'll have some residue to remove at some point.

Then it was time for the bedroom. It was another one of those "~sigh~" experiences. Only two layers of wallpaper that I'm sure of, as well as two layers of paint thrown into the mix. The maddening thing is that there was a really thick, heavy wallpaper at some point, then somebody stripped pieces of it, but left other huge chunks on the wall... and then papered over all of it! Then painted it bright pink. Where's my gun... Along with the usual seams in the wallpaper, there are LUMPS all over the walls from the pieces of the first wallpaper that is here and there. I finally discovered that it was faster to remove most of the upper layers without the steamer, then steam the last layer. It tears up the sheetrock a little bit in places, but nothing like what was happening under the peacock stuff. I think these walls will still be usable, but it's taking for...ev...er to get them stripped. It occurred to me that there's a possibility that we might cover the lower section of that bedroom with beadboard or some such thing--and it would be insane to spend all that time stripping paper if I don't need to. (If I can live with peacocks under my new walls, why couldn't I live with pink paper on yellow paint on chunks of black and yellow butterfly paper under that?)

I talked to James and we decided that maybe we should stop that project and take some time to do some pondering and shopping and pricing and--mostly--searching for inspiration. I have vague ideas of what I'd like to do in this house, but very few things that I feel solid about. I'm used to living in a place for several months and encourtering those "Aha!" moments when it suddenly occurs to you that THAT'S what you need to do in that room. This go-round we're needing to just DO everything and it's a simple fact that you can't rush inspiration. And it hasn't hit yet. I've seen little glimmers of something akin to it, but they've been fleeting most of the time.

Anyway, we loaded up and went to a big... store. Can't think of how to describe it. We were looking for inspiration. Instead I found more discouragement. We were looking at things that would be nice to decorate a finished house with. I don't have one of those. It was just adding insult to injury. Like pouring lemon juice into an already acutely painful paper cut. (Don't you just love it when I get all dramatic like that??? HA!)

We left there and went to Home Depot in search of inspiration. We walked out with a mailbox. It wasn't very inspiring. I wanted to price beadboard and different types of wood siding. I really don't like the prices. They're okay for a sheet or two, but we bought a BIG house. Got to limit that kind of stuff. Wallpaper is crazy expensive too, which is really why I wanted to price some of the other options. I hate having just paint. I like having mostly paint (it's much cheaper than anything else--and other people don't feel like shooting you later--unless of course you're painting on top of wallpaper), but I like something a unique and different here and there. Something with some pizazz, you know? But pizazz appears to be pricey. I like pizazz. I don't like pricye. James really doesn't like pricey.

A mailbox. No pizazz. No great "I've got it!" revelations. Just some expensive wood and trim and whatnot. Home Depot was another bomb.

Then we went to Big Lots so James could pick up a couple of rakes. They didn't have any.

My daughter's shoes are too small and hurting her feet. She also suddenly has very few sweaters or long sleeved shirts to wear in the cooler weather.

I didn't think about any of that until we'd passed both thrift stores.

The stores that we did go into I was embarrassed to go into because I looked so rough. Still had my work skirt on--that was covered in wallpaper schmazz. I had changed from my sweatshirt that was also covered with schmazz into James' extra fleece thinking I wouldn't look quite so tacky, but I think I was wrong. I had to roll the sleeves twice to keep my fingers in view and the shirt itself reached almost to my knees making me feel like I was wearing a fuzzy nightgown and should NOT be seen in public.

My sunglasses are broken.

I made a soup on Saturday for us to eat today. I did well and remembered to take it to the Monstrosity. Lunchtime came and we discovered that I forgot to plug the crock-pot in and the soup was cold, so we ended up with Sonic for lunch.

~sigh~

~SIGH~

~BIG SIGH~

I'm not sure I did anything right or worthwhile at all today.

But I'm saved. Jesus loves me. I have a husband who loves me, loves my children, and loves the Lord and His Church. I have the three best kids in the world. They desire to be good and do right, and they keep me laughing. I've got a puppy to cuddle with when I feel stressed. Clothes to wear, food to eat, good health, the best friends and family in the world... And a brand new day awaiting me tomorrow. It's going to start by spending some time with God... and then saying, "James, you were SO RIGHT yesterday--we should have stayed home. Let's do that today instead, okay???" ;-)

Friday, October 28, 2011

The Monstrosity: Day Four

But before we get to that, here are the pictures from the day before now that Blogger is willing to cooperate.

First of all, the hole in the wall! (In the APPROPRIATE place, Brother Dustin. Novel idea.) This is taken from the kitchen side. That white door dead ahead leads to the dining room. No, no, no, no, no. It must be OPEN. I don't like feeling all closed in. Especially if I'm working in the kitchen and company is sitting at the table. I should at least be able to hear them--and preferably see them. Sooooo...

Big opening! I know, I know. You're thinking the first picture looked better. That's only because I stripped all of the red wall paper (actually the red paint on top of wall paper that was on top of the first wall paper) and now you see splotchy drywall everywhere. And we yanked out the panels above to fluorescent lights and took the cabinet doors off as well, so everything looks bare and ugly. Stop looking at that! The hole in the wall--you're supposed to be looking at how wonderfully the new and improved hole opens up the whole feel of the room. ~Aaaahhhh~ Isn't that nice?

Same hole, different view. This picture is taken while standing in the corner of the living room, looking through the dining room into the kitchen. As you can see, the Hall of Mirrors was still intact at this point.

Voila! No more mirrors, which is a huge improvement all it's own, but just look at how much this little change opened things up from the living/dining room view! I love it. :-)

I didn't take any pictures of the never-ending project in the half-bath. There just wasn't that much to show.

This is the master bathroom. I was thrilled ~ahem~ to discover that they had put a border on top of another border. Nothing like going from ugly to ugly in one swift glue job. There's still papery residue from the first border that I'm going to have to go work on some more one of these days.

Katie took this picture of me steaming away. Okay, so I was posing in between steams.

Sam was busy working on school while I steamed away, Joe removed switch and socket covers, and Katie apparently played with my camera.

Ah, yes! The best part of the day! The border around the master bedroom just peeled right off. That was glorious, but not a HUGE project so not as rewarding as THIS was. These are the stairs leading down to the laBORatory--I mean basement. The walls were covered in this re-e-e-e-e-e-eally old and nasty wall paper. It needed to go, but anything concerning the basement or the road traveled to get there is LAST on my priority list. If we ever get the rest of the house really and truly finished, then I'll think about doing something with the basement. Maybe. Maybe not. Anyway, for some unknown reason I scraped up a corner of this wall paper and pulled. And pulled. And pulled and pulled--and it just kept coming and coming! Every single sheet came down perfectly whole and intact, leaving the walls READY FOR PAINT! Wa-Hoo!!! Here's Joe, tugging away.

And half buried in filthy, nasty, stained, smelly--but glorious because it came down willingly--wall paper.

Okay. Are you ready for this?

Brace yourselves.

Deep breath...

Here we go--to the foyer...

Meet...






THE PEACOCKS!!!


And more of them...

And some more...

No, wait--there's still more...

This isn't all of them. This is taken from the top of the stairs. The stairs continue down around the corner to the left... and the peacocks continue up high--way, way up high. And you thought I was exaggerating when I said hundreds. I really ought to make the kids count them all next time we go to the house. It would be interesting, though rather disturbing, to know exactly how many peacocks live in this house.

And this is the glorious wall paper that I discovered UNDER the peacocks.

This is what the wall looked like after I had spent a very, very, very long time removing all of the peacocks and getting down to the red and gold...

And though you can't possibly appreciate how unusable it is, this is what the sheetrock looked like after removing the red paper.

~Bleagh~ That was a bleak day a the Monstrosity, let me tell you. Especially because before Brother Hopkins came to the rescue I was still groaning over the possibility of having to spend weeks removing the rest of that wall paper. A-a-a-a-a-a-a-all of that horrible wall paper. ~Shudder~ I haven't mentioned yet how much I love and appreciate Brother Hopkins, have I???
Okay, here we go--Day Four.

Day Four got off to a very slow start. We left the Powells' house a little late to begin with and then we were still sooooo tired. I think I actually dozed off on the way to town. We got to the Monstrosity and I did devotions with the kids and then gladly helped Sam with school for the first hour or so. I was so worn out and had no motivation at all to actually work. But soon enough that luxury ended and I grabbed my steamer and headed upstairs--because I'm DONE steaming downstairs!!! The only thing that remains are the peacocks that Brother Hopkins is going to take care of for me. I love him. :-)

At the top of the stairs is this little... "square." :-) I don't know if there are names for spaces like this in houses or not. It's not really a room, it just has doors--lots and lots of doors. The door on the left leads to Sam's room, the right is Katie's room and the middle is Joe's. He said he wanted a small bedroom so we gave him the long skinny one. Of course I'm just joking--that's a closet. :-) The door to his room on the opposite wall across from Katie's room. There is a bathroom on the left, a bathroom on the right, and the doorway leading to the beautiful little chapel room on the left as well. As I said a lot of doors.

And shortly after this picture was taken, there was no border at the top either. :-) It came down well with the steamer.

Then I headed to Katie's room to attack her border. The print lifted off, then the backing steamed and scraped off easily. Another score for the steamer!

Then it was off to Sam's room. I took a picture there too, but it didn't turn out. His room has wood paneling and somebody had put up a football border on one wall. People who put borders on paneling should be drug out to the street and shot with all of those other people I mentioned the other day.

The steamer took the border down okay, but may have discolored the paneling a little bit. We'll see what we can do with it.

In the meantime, Sam was helping James pull up the flooring from the chapel room. Whoever laid it bought almost enough to finish the room, but not quite. He should probably be drug out to the street... well, you know. The flooring is in good shape so the guys took it apart and we'll use it in a smaller room.

And then... Hahahahahaha! THIS CRACKS ME UP! This is the bathroom on the left, though the other one looks so similar you probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference. The tile is all very nice and we'll be able to just clean it up and keep it. Yeah! Except, of course, those red tiles that somebody slapped on that closet door all crooked like--I pried those off right quick. But look at the choice of colors here--isn't it GREAT? Ha! Black and white tile... and then gold-ish paint with a red and gold border. The gold paint, of course, is over wall paper. Because that's what the previous owners seemed to do best. Layer things. Lots of them. As you can see in the bottom right corner of the picture, beneath the wall paper that was painted gold is ANOTHER wall paper, sort of greenish and swirly.

This means, of course, that there was another wall paper border beneath the first. Lovely, isn't it? You can see the section of red wall that I had scraped the green wall paper off of AFTER I scraped the top wall paper that was painted gold. But wait--that red isn't actually wall! No, that's red paint on TOP of ANOTHER LAYER OF WALL PAPER!!!!! Hahahahahaha!

And look what I found in another corner--yet another border! And see those stripes on the wall, white with blue? That's MORE wall paper! In the end, I discovered at least five wall papers and at least three borders and two colors of paint all on top of each other!!! COULD YOU DIE?! What is WRONG with people?!?!?!? Hahahahahaha!!! I laughed sooooooo hard--even though it meant more work. It's nice to have humor in the midst of work. But wait. It gets even better. :-)

The BOTTOM layer of wall paper that had been painted... There were only a few sections in the room--all narrow strips in the corners--where the paint and other wall paper came off of it so it could be seen, but just look! Hahahahahahaha!!! I LOVE IT! I laughed and laughed and tried to imagine what it must have looked like all over the walls in there. Judging from the findings of my archaeological dig in that room (!), THIS is what was originally installed--to match the black accents in the tile, I suppose. I would have LOVED to have seen these bathrooms like that! Hahahaha! It's so great. As I've been working on the house I just keep picturing what it must have been like when it was built in 1969. I know it's not THAT long ago as houses go, but I wish there was some way I could see pictures of how everything was in the very beginning and how the owners had it decorated. It would be sooooo fun to know all of that. But I'll just settle for this picture of these little scraps of wall paper. I can't look at them without smiling. :-)


So there you have it. The accomplishments and findings of Day Four. :-)

The Cox family came over to take a look at the house in the afternoon that day. It was a welcomed break from the wall paper fiasco in the bathrooms--it was when I still thought the red was the bottom layer. Silly me. The kids played outside and had a blast throwing golf balls around and shooting bb guns. We showed Brother Will and Sister Kristal all around the house and they were real gracious and didn't say, "What is WRONG with you people?! Why in the world did you buy this crazy house???" At least until they got in the car. Ha! Just kidding. :-) It's great to have people come and look at the house. It's so much fun. Though I got to thinking about it and it's probably akin to people going to see the bearded lady at the circus or something. We're just another freak show. "Hey, Mom--can we go look at the Monstrosity today? Huh? Huh? Huh???"

Today we stayed HOME. Got to get caught up on laundry and ironing sometime, right? Of course, the last load of laundry is still in the drier. And I haven't ironed a thing. I think it can wait until next week. I did manage to dye some rice for Sunday School tomorrow (if the craft turns out cute instead of a disaster I'll try to remember to take a picture--before I vacuum up rice from all over the church building... some people are just gluttons for punishment--the houses they purchase can usually be a good indicator...), made a double lasagna and some poppy seed bread for the Mission Dinner after church tomorrow (James made some enchiladas with the last of his frozen green chilies from Hatch), I made some taco soup for lunch/dinner at the Monstrosity on Monday (trying to think ahead so we don't have to eat out!) and got the house pretty clean, to boot. I bathed the Charles last night, so we no longer have a smelly poodle. Poodles should not smell. They should smell clean and be soft and fuzzy so you can cuddle with them. (Yeah, I said that just for you, Sister Tammy. HA!)

I've been wondering about the women out there who work jobs away from the house. How in the world do they actually keep up with a job AND taking care of things around the house? I might be able to manage okay for a time while we're fixing up the house, but as a permanant arrangement?! No way! There's no way you can possibly be gone working hard and wearing yourself out all day long and then come home and put your heart into caring for your home and family. I am so, so, sooooo blessed. I don't want to take it for granted. God is so good to me. And to my family. :-) I'm sooooo thankful!!!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

The Monstrosity: Day Three... Really This Time

This actually counts as Day Three because we actually went to the house to work. Actually. :-)

I spent the first half of my day developing a very strong conviction that people who wall paper straight to sheetrock and then wallpaper on top of the first wall paper and then paint over all of that... should be drug out to the street and shot.

I spent the last half of my day trying to figure out a way to see this imperative justice put into action.

Yes, Day Three of working on the Monstosity has done it's best to bring me to my knees screaming out, "WHAT WERE WE THINKING?! Why in the world did we buy this giant house with sooooooo much work to do???" It didn't succeed I'm glad to say. I'm holding off until Day Four before I actually consider sitting down to cry. I sat in this living room and cried once a couple of months ago because the house wasn't ours. All is fair in love and war and house remodeling.

Truthfully, I have felt perfectly balanced emotionally throughout the day in spite of the unfriendly twists I have encountered. And despite my desperate sounding rant above. ;-)

James went to pray for Sister Hoffman in the hospital this morning. She was having surgery on her neck and it went well, they say, but are concerned because her blood sugar is high right now. Do remember her in your prayers.

After that he headed to Collinsville to attent the funeral of one of our deacons who passed away this week, Vester Jackson. Unfortunately, the Interstate was closed and James was unable to actually get there! He wasn't on to do anything at the funeral, just going to show love and support, but he was still disappointed that he couldn't get there.

In the meantime, I loaded the kids up and headed to the Monstrosity. We got there and had our devotions, then I got them going on school while I took the wall paper steamer into the half bath on the main floor. Some of the wall paper was bubbled up and not attached to the wall at all, so I expected an easy stripping job. HA. Nothing is easy when you expect it to be easy, have you ever noticed that about houses? They always sneak up on you like that. I have no idea how long I was in that itty-bitty room working on the wall paper a tiny little bit at a time. The paper had been painted over with a thick, high gloss faux finish and it came off in layers. Paint first, then the top of the paper, then finally the back. Crazy.

Finished up in there and took the steamer to the master bedroom to start working on the border that went the entire way around the ceiling. To my surprise--and great joy--the border just ripped right off nice and clean with no steaming necessary! It was a 60 second job. Wa-Hoo! Almost made up for all the time I'd spent in that little bathroom.

I was hoping for the same easy job in the master bath since it had no wall paper, only border. There I go again, expecting something easy. I should know better. I discovered a tacky seashell border underneath the tacky elegant-swirly-flowery border. That means stripping one layer after another again. And I never could get it all off. There's still papery feeling stuff on the wall. I'm going to try to scrub it off tomorrow. If I can make myself go back to the house again after today. HA!

I opened the door to the basement and saw the horrid wall paper going down the stairwell. I figured that would be a real nightmare, too. I managed to find and edge and peel it up... and the entire sheet peeled right off as I pulled! I had to pull hard, but it came off perfectly clean in one piece!!! WHOA! I was sooooo thrilled! It was a different kind of paper, much heavier and almost looked like linen on the back. Joe came to help and the two of us ripped down one sheet after another and had the whole stairwell done in about five minutes. Wa-Hoo!!! Another happy surprise like the border in the master bedroom. :-)

Then. Oh, then. It was time to take the steamer to the foyer to meet the peacocks. I didn't dare to hope for an easy job this time, but I surely wasn't braced for how bad it would be. For starters, the peacock paper was NOT original to the house. Can you imagine somebody SINCE 1969 thinking that wall paper like that actually looks good?! It was bad enough thinking that somebody 42 years ago thought it was attractive, but much more difficult to make excuses for anybody since that time. What was underneath was a dark, heavy print of red and gold. I've tried several times to upload pictures (I did remember to take my camera today), but Blogger isn't allowing it tonight. Anyway, I worked for a very, very, very long time... stripping just the peacocks off of one wall. Then I went back and started stripping the original wall paper off. It was NOT easy and the results were, oh, let's say "less than desirable." When you scrape wall paper off of sheetrock (when there is not a layer of paint in between--just the paper straight to the rock) it also scrapes up portions of the sheetrock itself. It tears it and punctures it and sometimes rips a whole thin layer off the face of the sheetrock, leaving it sort of fuzzy feeling. NOT a surface that can be painted, or even wall papered.

I could tell we were in big trouble. I know it's just a foyer, but it's still a big room--and it extends all the way up the stairs to the second floor. That's a lot of peacocks. Hundreds and hundreds of peacocks. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH THEM??? I can't paint over them and have wall paper seams showing through, besides the places where the wall paper is peeling up off the wall--you can't paint over it when it's like that! But the peacocks must go. They simply cannot stay. The situation was desperate and I tried momentarily to imagine that maybe it would be possible to get attached to the peacocks and not hate them so badly if I gave them all names. But I would never remember THAT many names. No, they've just got to go. What to do, what to do, what to do...

James was still traveling back from almost making it to Collinsville when I picked up the phone and called my pastor. He's not only my pastor, but rumor has it he's a fantastic sheetrock man. I was hoping that perhaps he would know of a cure for my wall disaster. Maybe once all of the wall paper is gone the torn up sheetrock could be mudded and sanded and smoothed and then painted??? I had done the math on how long it took me to clear the tiny percentage of wall that I worked on today and figured it would take me well over a week to get all the paper off the walls, but if they could be smoothed out and used I guess (???) it might be worth it. NAH. Is there anyway to sand down the seams of the wall paper and smooth things out and paint over all of it??? I didn't know what I was expecting him to say, I just knew I needed his advice.

"Brother Hopkins, are you busy tonight? ...Do you have a few minutes that you could spare?... I have a problem... It's a bit of an emergency, but it's not urgent--it could wait if tonight is not a good night... It involves sheetrock and peacocks... hundreds and hundreds of peacocks... You'll just have to come see--please don't make me explain..." And so on.

Being the generous (and perhaps curious--ha!) man that he his, he showed up at the house just after James did. We brought him through the back door and talked about our plans for the kitchen and dining room, then asked him if he wanted to see our real problem. :-) We walked into the foyer and he laughed when he saw the peacocks, though he seemed relieved that my emergency didn't involve REAL peacocks. Though they would probably be easier to get rid of, now that I think of it.

He took one look at the wall I'd been working on--the wall that had no peacocks, but was still mostly covered in the red and gold paper with a section across the middle where that too had been removed, along with the top layer of sheetrock. He looked rather horrified for a moment, then began sharing a story about a young wife who called him in tears one day because of the very same thing--removing wall paper and discovering the sheetrock was destroyed when she did so. The short version is that her marriage was about to be wrecked over the situation and I figured I might be in the same boat soon enough if we didn't get help. HA! James hadn't said a word--he was just hoping, as I was, that Brother Hopkins had a secret cure-all fix for our predicament. He explained that you CAN'T resurface the sheetrock. When it gets torn up like that it just bubbles up anytime to you try to put mud or anything on it--it simply won't work. In other words, your only options are:

1. Keep the peacocks.

2. Sheetrock over what is already there.

Number one just isn't a possibility. I just can't. Peacocks??? Hundreds and hundreds of them??? If only I could add a picture here you would understand. They simply must go.

But number two... whoa--that's a lot of sheetrock! And that adds up QUICK. And that was NOT in our budget when we bought this joint. The words "money pit" kept clanking around in my head. Ha! But Brother Hopkins said that he could just put 1/4" sheetrock over what is already there and that it is actually pretty cheap. He added up how many pieces we would need and we were relieved that he was right. And I can guarantee you that the price is we-e-e-e-e-e-e-ell worth it for me to just be DONE with the peacocks and not have to work on them or worry with them anymore!

So that's the new plan. It wasn't part of the plan, but James handled it amazingly well (he doesn't generally find joy in unexpected expenses) and I am just so, so, so relieved.

Though I wonder if I'll think about the peacocks when I walk into the foyer or come down the stairs. Will I still "see" them there and wonder if they're looking at me through the 1/4"??? They won't actually be GONE like I wanted. They'll always BE there, just covered over. They probably won't be very happy.

I can live with that. :-)

Have I mentioned lately that I love Brother Hopkins? That he his my hero? That he has saved my sanity and possibly my marriage?

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Monstrosity: Day Three

Not really. We didn't go work today. We stayed home this morning, ran a load of laundry (work clothes), did a little house work around here... Then drove wa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ay up north to a discount wall paper store in the farthest part of Birmingham. They had lots of cheap stuff, most of it dog ugly--but that was to be expected. They did have several things that we thought, "Eh... that might be workable." I took a few pictures of the maybes so I can keep them in mind as I think, think, think about what to do where in this house. Right now I just feel way overwhelmed by how many decisions there are to make and it's like they all pile up into a serious log jam in my head when I try to concentrate on them.

They're not the only things that are jamming in my head lately. A few days ago I insisted that my Mom had only sent me the regular Ladies' Retreat application and not the additional staff application. I was sure of it and had Mom questioning her own sanity since she had been so sure that she had sent it. Of course when we got home from the Monstrosity that night I looked and there it was, with the envelope. And I thought, "Oh, yeah--I do remember seeing that."

I filled out the regular application and what I could of the staff application--the entire back side of the paper had to be filled out by my pastor. What's the deal with all that stuff, anyway? You have to give your life history and have a background check and all sorts of weirdness to be able to work in Tennessee. I'm wondering if I'll be blindfolded and interrogated next. Ha! Anyway, I took the application to church tonight and Brother Hopkins filled out the pastor stuff for me. I didn't read everything he wrote, but he did check "excellent" on all of the boxes (there were choices of excellent, good, fair, and poor or something like that -- just like when you go to a restaurant! HA!) as any gracious pastor would do. I mean, come on. What kind of a pastor is going to say a member has a "fair" attitude or is "poor" in their church attendance--when they KNOW the person is going to be reading their review! Ha! It's crazy.

ANYWAY, when I looked at the regular application that I had filled out a few days ago it said "Rebekah L. Smith." I didn't even catch it until I read down at the bottom where I had requested to stay in a room with Vicki Smith. When I saw her "Smith" I realized that I'd seen it somewhere else recently and started pondering where it could have been. I glanced at the top of the application and saw that I had signed my name that way. I've only been married for eleven and a half years, you know--it's easy to forget the new name. ~sigh~ It takes eleven jears! Thank you, Rosa.

Then there was the notebook that I had the entire Ladies' Retreat delegation searching for. I was certain that I'd had it with me and used it up until Saturday afternoon when it mysteriously vanished. When I got home I discovered it sitting by my chair. And then I remembered that before the Retreat I had thought, "I should consolidate all of my notes and information and get them into ONE notebook so I won't have to worry with keeping up with two." It was a good idea and I did enact it. I just FORGOT that I had ever thought or enacted it and spent half of the weekend searching for the all-important notes that I was sure were in the missing notebook.

And of course there are the missing PAINT SWATCHES!!!!!!!!! But we won't go there. I'm not sure I can handle that one right now since it is unresolved as yet--and acutely painful that the timing is what it is.

My mother amazes me at times like this. She always laughs and acts like I'm so pitiful or something. She reminds me of the time when I was a teenager and I went to make a tuna sandwich. I took the can of tuna, walked over to the sink, held the can under the faucet and thought, "Now... how do you work this thing?," thinking it was the electric can opener. That was bad enough, but far worse when Dad came in hungry and I went to get another can of tuna, walked right back to the sink, looked at the faucet and thought, "I just did this! How could I have forgotten how to work this thing already???"

Mom reminded me of that little incident tonight. And of the many times when she would send me to the pantry for a can of green beans or something and I would come back insisting that we were out of them. And truly, I had searched everywhere, looking at and sometimes even moving every can (green beans included), but somehow never saw them.

She reminds me of these things and acts like I'm some sort of pathetic freak of nature. Forgetting the times that she has made coffee without the coffee... and without the water... and without the pot (that was a messy one...) and a-a-a-a-a-a-a-all of the other scatterbrained things that SHE has done over the years... that a person like me has no shot of recalling at times like this when they would come in really handy. That's no testament to her sanity, obviously.

My Grandmother on Dad's side had multiples of most of her groceries with several boxes or bottles or jars of the same thing open at once--because she didn't think she already had that item and bought and opened more when there may have already been two or three half used sitting there. She did other strange things, too. She would sometimes put the butter dish in the dishwasher. I mean, with the butter still in it--thinking it was the fridge. Stuff like that.

Dad himself isn't known for being just real sharp all the time. He loses things regularly and can commonly be heard having conversations like this, under his breath of course: "Now, Steve, you had it last night... you were sitting right here... and then you thought 'I know what I'll do. I'll put it on the counter so I'll remember it in the morning.' Then what did you do, Steve? You've got to think. Think, think, think..." He's worn socks that were mismatched so many times they can't be numbered, sometimes badly mismatched. He used to have a safe under his desk. He taped the code to the front of the safe because he knew he'd never be able to remember it--or find it if he put it somewhere else. HA! That one just KILLED James. :-) As did the "Top Secret Information" that used to be on a clipboard next to Dad's computer with all of his important passwords and stuff like that. Hahahahaha!

In other words, I come from a very unkind gene pool. I prefer to think that we just save up our brains for the truly useful things and that's why the simple things like can openers, butter dishes, and matching socks so frequently confound us.

I was thinking the other day about how clueless Joe is most of the time. I remember the time when he was three or four years old and he came strolling out of the bedroom in a t-shirt, socks, and his ghandi's. "Joe!" I said, shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in a towel (you've got to be in the loop to understand that one), "Go put your pants on!" To this day I can still see his bewildered little face as he said, "I did put my pants on." I was adamant that he hadn't (!) and curiosity finally got the best of him. He looked down and was genuinely shocked. "Oh. Oops. I'll be right back, Mom." Keven Lewis, who works with kids all the time, once watched Joe doing his school work. He told me later that if that kid was in public school they'd have him on some drug for ADHD in no time flat. Ha!

In any case, I come by my mental issues honest and find it rather degrading (not to mention hypocritical!) when Mom rolls her eyes and otherwise treats me with scorn--OVER THE GENES THAT SHE-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E WAS SO GENEROUS AS TO SHARE WITH ME! Okay, so a whole lot of the head genes came from Dad's side. --But certainly not all! She shared, too! I just wonder why I got all the bad stuff from both sides of the family and none of the strengths. How cruel is that?! ;-)

I say all of this now because I think Mom will be in Nicaragua and unable to read this post until sometime next week. By then I will have forgotten about it. :-)

Okay, pictures. I don't have anything new of the house, so here are a few that I found on my card tonight.

Nothing better than cuddling up with cozy blankets and a sleepy poodle. Don't let Tammy Washburn tell you any different. ;-)



This would have been much better as a video. I love watching Sam shinny up this tree! It's his favorite. :-)

And here we have Fort Powell. That's what the boys named this contraption. They worked on it for two days and had it totally destroyed within an hour of completion. Ha! They even pulled a bunch of weeds that James wanted rid of to use on their roof. Made him happy, made them happy.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The Monstrosity: Day Two

Day Two didn't seem nearly as productive as Day One. I was expecting days like that, but not quite so soon as Day Two! Part of the trouble is that there is just so much to be done. You barely begin on one thing before you get distracted with something else. Besides all the time you waste walking around the house THINKING and trying to imagine what needs to be done where and what colors and special touches and all that. There are sooooo many decisions to make it just seems overwhelming. But still fun. So far.

We bought a wall paper steamer yesterday to assist in our efforts to remove all of the paper throughout the entire house. I once thought there wasn't much. I was wrong. The foyer alone is just way too big. That's the room with the lovely ~gag~ green and yellow pheasant wall paper that, upon further study, is actually peacock wall paper. Not that that's an improvement or anything. And the foyer just happens to extend up the stair way. Way, way, way up high... and the peacocks go the whole way. Hundreds of them. After spending all day long stripping the wall paper from the kitchen (I finally got the last of it down so we can say I finished something today!) I'm really, really wondering if there's any way we can get by without actually stripping all of the peacocks. I hate it when people paint over wall paper and you can see all of the seams. But I don't really want to wall paper over it either--it would cost a fortune and be an enormous and potentially life-threatening project. Still working through the possibilities on that one.

ANYWAY, what we did accomplish today is stripping all of the wall paper and border from the kitchen. (What kind of a person clips all of her fingernails down to the nubs the night before stripping wall paper??? Dumb.) I found myself standing on a step stool with a steamer in one hand and a scraper in another--after several hours of being in that position--HATING wall paper and wondering what kind of an idiot PUTS the ugly stuff in their house anyway. Of course, 20 or 30 years from now, should time tarry, there will be some other woman standing on a stool with a steamer taking down MY wall paper while thinking the same unkindly thoughts. Ha! It looks horrid in there now (worse than before, believe it or not), but it's great progress. The kids helped a lot with different stages of that job. Katie loves working the steamer, Joe likes rolling the little scoring tool all over the wall, and Sam loves helping peel paper. I just love it that they're old enough to help. This is the third house we will have remodeled (we're not old enough or been married long enough for that!), but the first one the kids have been old enough to actually help with. It makes it much, much easier. And I feel like a good Mom for working along side of my kids or watching James work with them and teach them valuable skills that will be useful to them if they grow up to be the kind of people who buy ugly things cheap to make them pretty and more valuable... instead of a bad Mom who is neglecting her kids and leaving them to themselves (that brings a mother to shame--never a good thing!) while she is all wrapped up in wall paper and paint.

The question for today is... how badly do I want wood trim in the kitchen??? There is beautiful wood chair rail around the wall in the kitchen, as well as door trim in three places. No wait... four. But the beautiful wood has three coats of paint on it, the last of which is a super thick and goopy high gloss white. That layer peels up easily in some places, but not so much in others. I've considered painting it again, but it's already too thick and goopy for yet another layer. I WANT it stripped down to the natural wood, then stained. That would be sooooo pretty in this room. But that would be sooooo much work, wouldn't it?! I need to Google. James bought some stripper stuff today and we gave it a try. It worked, but it still requires a LOT of time and scraping to get all of the paint--that turns into a sticky goo--off of the wood. I know I would prefer to have the wood clean and paint free... but is it really worth all that time and work when there is so much else throughout the house that needs to be done??? And the follow-up question is... if I delegate that project to my children, is there any way they would actually be capable of properly stripping all of that wood FOR me??? :-)

And now for the most exciting happening of the day. James ripped down a wall. :-) YEAH!!!!! I am sooooooo happy. He was not happy about it, but even he can admit that it was a good decision now that he can see the difference. Actually, it wasn't a whole wall, it was just a portion of the wall between the kitchen and dining room. There was a narrow door way (with a pocket door) to begin with and it just made the kitchen feel all closed in. But now it feels so much more open and roomy from both sides. I wanted the whole wall gone (ha!) but James is always worried about silly little things like structure and supports and stuff like that. ;-) But since there was a pocket door we knew there was no support there anyway, so he took out the "pocket" area and doubled the size of the opening. It's going to be GREAT.

Unfortunately I forgot to take my camera with me today. How did I manage that??? I'll have to take pictures of our new progress next time. I don't think it will be tomorrow though. Got some other stuff to tend to.

We just got the biggest part of the mess cleaned up this evening (the whole kitchen had been about a foot deep in wall paper scraps and sheet rock from the demo job) when the Washburns showed up to take a grand tour of the Monstrosity. :-) It was great fun showing them around and hearing their thoughts and seeing Sister Tammy's face when I kissed the dog. HA! They then treated us to Milo's for dinner, complete with fried lemon pies. YUM. We had such a great time visiting with them. We always do.

On our way home we made an unscheduled pit stop at the house of some serious hoarders and caught them off guard, just for the fun of it. HA! We were only there for a minute or two, but it was quite fun. :-)

And now we're home and glad to be away from the mess of the Monstrosity. I LOVE IT that we can trash that house and then come home to a clean one. Well... pretty clean. At least it's not covered in remodeling mess. ;-)

Monday, October 24, 2011

The Monstrosity: Day One

But first, a recap of our weekend.

Friday: Close on the house. Come home sooooo exhausted.

Saturday: Accomplish lots of wonderful things around the house in preparation for neglecting it all in the coming week since we'll be spending most of our time at the Monstrosity. I said I didn't want to blog about laundry and ironing anymore, so I won't mention that I got it ALL done on Saturday, got the house in pretty good shape, made a great big dinner for my family, the left-overs of which were immediately put into a crock-pot and added to in order to make a scrumptious dinner to take to the Monstrosity today so we'd have something good and healthy and tasty and CHEAP to eat. I'm so proud of me! :-)

Sunday we got up and drove down to Alex City for service. It was sort of an impromptu trip, but a necessary one. The folks there find themselves without a pastor at this point and we needed to go and be in service with them. We had a wonderful time there and were blessed by the good folks and their sweet spirits. We've been doing lots of praying for that church here lately and will now be praying for God to send them a pastor. I know He can do that.

We made it back to Bessemer with some time to spare, so we stopped in at the Washburns' house fore the sole purpose of praying for Sister Tammy who is sick. ~ahem~ ;-) We enjoyed our visit with them, though apparently a little too much since we were a minute or two late for church. They hadn't actually started yet, so maybe that doesn't count...

I was sooooo tired during service--all day yesterday, really. And dreading having to go and work at that great big giant house! Ha! That is a horrible way to go into this chapter of our lives so I really began praying for God to give me some strength and energy--and He did. :-)

We loaded up lots of drinks and paper towels and cleaning supplies and left the house at 8:00 this morning to go put in a full day at the Monstrosity. The kids had done school on Saturday so they'd be free today and wouldn't have to worry with it. For a long time it felt like we weren't accomplishing much. The house is so BIG and every time you turn around you see something that needs done and start on it, only to be distracted by something else that needs done. I fear it may continue this course for quite some time. Ha! And on the other hand, sometimes I look around and think, "You know, there's really not THAT much to do here to get it ready to paint and wallpaper!" And once we get to the paint and wallpaper stage all that will remain are the floors. Of course, painting and wallpapering this place isn't going to be a project for a lazy afternoon. But I'm already formulating my plan to make things more efficient. We'll see if I can pull if off. ;-)

I spent most of my time in these two rooms today. The half bath...



And the kitchen. Don't worry. It will be beautiful when we're finished with it. ;-)
Charlie thoroughly enjoyed his first day at the Monstrosity. He spent the first hour or so running from one room to the next to the next to the next, investigating EVERYTHING. He romped outside and explored the woods with the kids quite a bit, too. But by mid-afternoon he had found himself a nice cozy sunbeam to claim. I was jealous.
The first thing to go this morning: the crazy cornice from the hall of mirrors, otherwise known as the dining hall. Ha!
The kids were great to pitch in and help off and on all day today--when they weren't outside exploring their new 3 acres and collecting golf balls from all over the property. Did I mention this house sits right next to a golf course?! It will provide us with lots of memories, I'm sure. ;-) Anyway, here's Joe removing cabinet doors and their handles in the master bath...
The Ridlespurges stopped by for a few minutes this evening with a WMB question for James, but while they were here Brother Ridlespurge got roped into helping with our demolition projects. ;-) James was having a horrible time trying to get the stove hood out. He had unscrewed and disconnected everything he could see, but it still wouldn't budge. Brother Ridlespurge went and slammed his fists down on it gorilla style, sparks flew everywhere (it was still wired up!!!), and it was soon in the dumpster where it belonged. Guess what had been holding it up... DUCT TAPE. Hahahahahaha! I love this house. :-) By the way, there are wire nuts on those electrical wires now--no more sparks. James picked this up and said, "Am I working on an oven hood or a car???"
Kids hard at work...
And Sam's feat must be recorded. James had to run lots of errands today (get the utilities switched into our name, pick up supplies for me, etc.), so he took Sam to the dining room... the room that is COVERED, ceiling to floor, with these hideous gold marbled mirror tiles. He gave him some gloves, goggles, and a screwdriver and got him going...
Sam worked non-stop for about two hours, first taking out the bottom four rows of tiles all the way around the room, then finding a step stool so he could finish the upper half--the top row on his tip-toes. That kid is SUCH a good, hard worker!
Very... last... tile...
Ta-ha!!! Somebody do the math for me. 16 tiles long by 8 tiles high times two walls (minus a regular sized doorway) and then the other two walls (one with a large double door opening) and the other with a window--these walls are 10x8. My brain's not up for it, but that's a whole mess of tiles!
We had our left-over stew for lunch today and everybody loved it. I think we even have enough for lunch tomorrow. I was more efficient than I thought on Saturday! :-) By 5:30 we were all starving, but not ready to quit work yet. James went and picked up some Little Caesar's Pizza for dinner and it tasted great. That means we really were hungry. ;-)


I got all of the kitchen cabinets vacuumed and scrubbed out and ready to paint today, though I'm not finished prying all of those stupid press and stick tiles out of the drawers in the corner. What kind of a weird-o puts press and stick tiles in drawers?! I've got at least another hour's worth of work just to get the rest of them gone. Four and a half drawers to go.


In the process of cleaning out cabinets I found two interesting items: A cruddy McDonald's pot-holder and a little case of food coloring. Wonder how old they are... And then I removed a drawer from a desk station in the kitchen and found all sorts of little treasures that had fallen out of the drawer and into the casing years ago...


The S&H Green Stamps were by far the coolest (Mom says she bought her first set of dishes with Green Stamps!), followed by the Interstate Insurance card with the band-aids inside. I was wondering aloud what else we might find when James piped up, "Why don't you find a few wads of hundred dollar bills next time." Ha! Wouldn't that be nice. ;-)
We finally called it quits at about 6:45 and headed home to the Powells' house. This is what the crowd looked like before we were even half way home. They'd worked hard and had a full day!
The plan for tomorrow is the same as today, except we'll find a way to throw school into the mix.


We found out tonight that there is a discount wall paper outlet in Birmingham. The Powells also gave us lots of good tips for where to find what in just about every category we could need. That will be sooooo helpful. I'm anxious to get everything out of the house that we'll be replacing and get everything all cleaned up and scrubbed down so then we can start doing the fun work--making things look good instead of worse! Ha!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Started on the House!

I have completed the first four hours of work on the new house! Wa-Hoo!!! But before I get into that, let me ask a question.

IF...

...a person was to be moving… and she knew from experience that they were the kind of family who would buy a real cheap house that needed lots of work… and that they’d have the privilege of living in a beautiful home while they fixed up the one they bought… and that they would need access to important things like PAINT SWATCHES in order to fix up said house… and IF said person had thought while packing up the previous house, “Hhmmm, I’d better pack these paint colors in a place where I know I will have easy access to them and be able to find them right away when we need them—and make sure they’re not stuffed somewhere that will only be discovered after the renovation is completed and we’re moving in”… and IF said person is SURE that she packed these paint swatches with such a thought in mind…

BUT said person has gone to the storage unit and looked in the two places she was sure they would be (the box with the contents of the junk drawer and the big blue bin full of paint and wallpaper supplies) and was saddened to learn that they weren’t there… and then said person had an epiphany and rushed home to look in the two little plastic bins in the top of her closet—the ones that were the “catch all” at the end of the move—just sure that the swatches must be there (but of course they weren’t)… and then said person looked through the dresser where she keeps some of her important books and things… and then in the utility room with some cleaning supplies… and then in the drawer by the bed… and then in her laptop case (would’ve found ‘em if I’d thought to be ‘em there)… and then in the little box of her desk supplies that was in the back corner of the boys' closet... and then went to the basement and rummaged through dozens of boxes of miscellaneous junk… then came and emptied out the front closet and dug through all of those boxes… then started looking in the Powell’s junk drawers just in case… then on top of the fridge and underneath the couches because she’s running out of ideas…

But if this person is still sure that she packed the dumb paint swatches in a SMART PLACE where she was SURE she would FIND THEM…

WHERE SHOULD SHE LOOK NEXT????

Now that I’ve asked my question, back to the subject at hand. I’ve spent the first four hours devoted to the Monstrosity in the futile pursuit of paint swatches. Why, you may ask, is it so important to locate those colors? Why not just pick new paint colors? In fact, said person’s daughter did ask such a question. She was answered with maniacal laughter, flailing arms and colorful stories about purchasing many, many buckets of paint that were beautiful on the dippy little card but gag inducing on a wall. When you finally acquire a color that you love in your house instead of on the card it is vital, yes, even sanity saving, that you not lose it. Especially when you have just bought a HUGE house that needs paint. Everywhere. Desperately. So the search continues…

But I am TOTALLY out of ideas. No clue where to search next. Maybe they’re in the crock-pots that I couldn’t find a week or two ago. Or maybe…

WE OWN THE MONSTROSITY!!!

I'm still in a state of mixed thankfulness and shock. Now I'm sort of regretting that I haven't recorded ever single detail along the way because it is way, way, way, way, wa-a-a-a-a-ay miraculous that this actually happened! I'll just share the last little miracle.

Yesterday morning we got a copy of the termite inspection report that was done in August. We had to laugh when we saw that it was done by a man whose ministers license James revoked last year. Not that the last part is funny (!), just that it was crazy that he was the one to inspect the house that we would later buy. Anyway, the report showed that there was evidence of possible infestation in two locations in the house--both of which were near places where the gutter was broken and there was some water damage that needed replaced anyway. So we felt good about proceeding.

We did devotions and school, had brunch, then headed to Sam's Club for the first of our errands. While standing in the aisle looking at a dehumidifier to put in the moldy basement, Laura called. Insert dramatic music here. She was calling to say that the attorney who was doing the closing said that he had to submit the termite inspection report to our bank for approval. Uh-oh. Bad, bad news. It didn't make sense to us because a termite inspection is not required by our bank and we had not ordered one--this report is from when an inspection was made by the last guy who tried to buy the house. Why would it be sent to our bank??? Because as soon as they see it, it's all over. They are never going to give us a conventional loan on a house that has mold (that was miraculous enough) AND "an active infestation." (Is it freaking anybody out that we WANTED to by a moldy, infested house?! Ha!) The bank has been sooooooo picky about everything and has required sooooooo much--there's just no way. This new report was going to sink the deal.

We hung up, sighed, left the de-humidifier aisle (wouldn't be needing one of those now) and went to get a pretzel and a slurpy at the front of the store. To celebrate? Ha! I was disappointed, but didn't sense any tears coming on--I think I cried it out last time we lost this house, or thought we had. Laura called back and James (with his best poker face) just said "uh-huh" a lot. I just prayed. "God, you know that I want this house. But I really and truly do mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say that I only want it if it's what YOU want for us--and if it's not then thank you soooooo much for taking it away from us." It felt so good to just surrender and give it up one more time. James hung up and I fully expected him to say that it was all over. Instead he said, "The bank doesn't care about the termites. We're good to go."

WHAT?!?!? Are you KIDDING me????? What kind of a lousy bank loans on a house full of moldy termites?! HA! I don't know, but I'm soooooo thankful! It just AMAZES me how many things God has worked out for us on this place.

And for those of you who are creeped out, we are going to have the mold and termites tended to right away--we don't have any intention of living with either.

So we went ahead and bought the dehumidifier, stopped at the bank to get a check for the down payment, met Laura at the house for one final walk-through, headed to the title office, signed our lives away for about an hour (was it that long? It seemed like forever!), then sat in the lobby and waited and waited and waited to get word that the attorney had received the signed documents from the sellers (of course--they would have to be late with that! Why break the pattern now?!) and FINALLY got the congratulative hand shake and went back to the house to claim our set of keys from the lock box--and give the grand tour to the Ridlespurges. We had texted several people, but they were the only ones who could join us. It was so great showing it to them. They were all giddy and excited and seemed to be close to shedding tears of joy--they were at least as excited as we were! Ha! It's because they've helped us pray and pray and pray over this house, I'm sure. I'm so happy that they already feel at home there. We hope to be the hang-out for all of the church folks once we get settled. :-)

When it was all said and done I felt soooooo exhausted. I couldn't decide if I was just slap wore out from the months of praying and thinking and hoping and praying and wondering and praying and... well, you know. Or if I was exhausted just thinking about all of the work to be done in the coming months! Ha! It's going to be GREAT. :-)

To all those who have helped us pray,

THANK YOU!

Friday, October 21, 2011

The Suspense is Killing Me

Okay, so it's probably not THAT bad but it did keep my mind spinning and hinder my ability to fall asleep for a good long while last night.

Disclaimer: This is not one of those fun kid posts I said I needed to get back to. This is another this-is-what's-going-on-in-our-lives posts. ~sigh~ Sorry.

We are very, very, VERY close to closing on the Monstrosity. As in, about 8 hours away from closing. We have been told by our bank that everything is set and in order and we are READY to close. ~gasp!~ I've been experiencing varying degrees of "I knew God could do this!," "WHAT?! NO WAY!," "Are you kidding me--is this some kind of a cruel joke???," and just plain, "Na-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-w-w-w-w..." throughout the past week. Isn't it strange how we can pray and pray and pray for something and really and truly believe that God is able to answer miraculously, and then still feel surprised when He does?! Ha! Makes me think of the Church praying for Peter when he was in jail. An angel set him free, he went to the house where they were gathered together to pray (and no doubt he was included in their prayers), Rhoda was so excited she left him outside and rushed to tell the others... and everybody told her she was crazy. Ha! We are sooooo much like that.

The house has mold. We knew that all along. We thought the bank would put the kibosh on the whole thing when they learned that. They didn't. It was noted that it is present, but that the house is livable. (Of course, by now it may have carried the house away--I've never dealt with mold before, but it is nasty stuff. We intend to take care of that muchos prontos after closing.) The latest twist is that as of last night (now that we have the final "go ahead--we are READY TO CLOSE!" from our bank), the crazy real estate company lady e-mailed Laura to tell her that a termite inspection was done in August on this house and found that there was "an active infestation." Hahahahahaha! Of course! Not only is there soggy, smelly growth that rots your house away here, but there are also little bugs who nibble away at it until there's nothing left but a pile of sawdust. The south is a strange and sometimes frightening place, let me tell you. I don't even know if you can GET mold and termite inspections out west. Mold is only ever seen on cheese that's been in the fridge too long and termites are reported about as often as Bigfoot. But in Alabama...

Not that I'm complaining. I'm just still adjusting. ;-)

So now we find ourselves in an interesting predicament. We CAN buy this house. Everything is set and in place. All we have to do is show up and sign the papers. But since we just learned this new bugs-live-in-and-dine-on-your-house information last night, there's probably not time to have it checked out to see how serious it is. Termites live here. It's a fact of life. And if you're hoping to buy a house that doesn't have mold, well, good luck. If it's vacant, it's moldy. We feel prepared to deal with the mold. And if it is a mild to moderate termite infestation, that can be handled, too. But what if it's really, really bad??? James has been reading horror stories (as he's prone to do at times like this--it drives me crazy!!! But I am LOVING and SUBMITTING to him, Ladies' Retreat Ladies--not clamoring at all. Ha!) about house deals gone bad. He read about one yesterday where the mold was so bad and extensive it took $80,000 to fix. I don't see how that's even possible but if such a horrible thing happened to somebody rest assured James knows about it. He also knows that Brother Horton bought a house one time and then learned that it was infested with termites and the entire floor had to be taken out and replaced. OUCH. Mom knew that story, but was surprised to learn that James knew it. I had to laugh. James knows all of the bad things that have ever happened to anyone. How else would we properly brace ourselves for the worst--since it's bound to happen to us too, you know. Thus my optimistic personality once again butts up against James' dismal, pessimistic one. HA! Okay, so it's not really that bad. Truth be known, he's probably much more realistic than I am. I live in a happy little make-believe world where you always expect the best from everyone, think them all to be trust-worthy and out to help you (okay, except for those realtors over at Bentley), and just sort of blindly assume that all will be well at the end of the day. You should visit sometime. It really is quite nice. :-) James, on the other hand, lives in a world riddled with criminals and natural disasters who alternately attack your home and family and there is little to no hope of avoiding catastrophic conclusions to most business dealings. Okay, okay, so he's not THAT bad... but you get the point.

And he is almost that bad. ;-)

I'm a little off the subject. The house. Do we buy? Do we not buy? We've been doing a lot of praying about it last night and today but frankly there are a lot of other things going on right now of much greater and eternal significance, so our attentions haven't been exclusively on this house stuff--which is the way it should be anyway. We are going to try to get a copy of the report from whoever did the inspection in August (no doubt for the guy who was trying to buy this house before I started praying that God would take it from him and give it to us... Or perhaps before he learned that little critters have eaten the innards out of it...) and see if we can learn how bad it is. If we CAN'T get a copy of the report and if we CAN'T get a termite dude out to look at it on such sort notice, well, then we just have to make a blind decision: buy and hope it's not too bad, or don't buy and wonder if we blew it. Neither is a comfortable decision to make.

So if anybody reads this post before 4:00pm whatever time zone Alabama is in (it must be Central, right???), please pray for God to give us wisdom and help us know the right decision to make. I've asked Him for this house. And a-a-a-a-a-a-a-all along the way it seems like He has moved mountains--many of them--to get us to this point. But as I've prayed and asked Him for it, I've also thrown in the disclaimers: "UNLESS You see that it would somehow be a detriment to us spiritually or financially..." I'm still feeling like it's the right thing to proceed. But then, in my happy little imaginary world everything always turns out well. ;-) I think even James is ready to proceed (unless we learn that the joint is about to crumble because of the little intruders), but I know that we both just want God to direct our path. He sees the end from the beginning. And we want the ending He's chosen for us. Please pray that He'll help us to find it. Thank you!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

What a Blog Ought to Be

I just picked up Becki's Book of Blog and read the last two pages. I started blogging in 2006 and at the end of the year I printed all of the entries out to keep as a journal with the intention of doing the same thing at the close of every year. I'm only 5 years behind now. ;-) But as I read the last page I was reminded how much FUN it used to be to blog! I didn't write about the dumb hum-drum things like which day I did laundry and all of that unimportant, boring stuff that's not worth remembering (like I blog about now)--I blogged about my KIDS and about the fun and crazy and embarrassing happenings of our lives. When I read through all of those little memories that seemed insignificant at the time I'm amazed at how much I enjoy remembering how life and my kids were at that particular time. They've gotten older, but they still make me laugh all the time over the dumbest little things--but I fail to blog about most of them! I've got to get back to it. THAT'S what I want to remember in years to come. Not laundry.

So as a sample of what a blog is really supposed to be like, let me submit a section of my entry from the last page of my 2006 blog, nearly five years ago:

The other day we were all sitting at the table and Joe was absentmindedly nibbling on his toast. He glanced down at it and was shocked at what he saw. "Hey, Mom! My toast looks like Virginia!!!" Strange thing for a 4 year old to say. Stranger yet: he was right--his toast was in the perfect shape of Virginia. Strangest of all: he knew it. Katie wasn't to be outdone, so she began nibbling away at her own toast. "Look, Mom! I made Tennessee!" Did a pretty good job of it, too. Forming states out of their food has been a regular mealtime activity since that day. It got me to wondering if other children out there spend the lunch hour whittling away with their teeth in an attempt to create the shape of Texas out of their sandwiches. Gives a whole new meaning to the term "Texas toast," hu?! (Ba-dum-bum-ching! Sorry, couldn't pass that one up!)

The kids helped me make cinnamon rolls a few days ago. Whoever said that letting your kids help with such things will save you time in the long run (because they'll learn helpful skills earlier on, blah, blah, blah) was out of their gourd. I do my best to include the kids in things like this, but I must confess that it's often because I know I should include them, not because I want to. While I was rolling out the dough Katie started saying, "Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!" and running in circles to an unknown destination. She finally found what she was looking for: the napkins. She had to sneeze and knew that if she sneezed into her hands I would make her go wash them... for the 8th time. So she picked up the entire stack of napkins and sneezed into them, rather than just the top one. I was trying to not overreact to that when I turned around to see Joe running the rolling pin up and down his forehead. "JOE!!!! What are you doing?!?!?! Give me that rolling pin! I'll take care of that, you go wash up again..." That's when I noticed Sam, who had both fists full of my freshly rolled out dough. I was about to tell him to unhand the dough before I broke his precious little fingers when I saw Joe (on his way to wash up) step on one of the plastic placemats that had been dropped on the floor and *whoosh* his cowboy boot went straight up in the air in front of him and he landed flat on his back with a mighty thud. Mind you, all of this happened in the span of about 30 seconds. What had begun building as frustration in me suddenly came out in the form of teary laughter and I suddenly realized that, yes, indeed, it is absolutely more fun to make cinnamon rolls with the kids than without them. It is NOT easier. But it is certainly more fun. And that makes it worth it all. And somehow, the cinnamon rolls turned out perfect!

Katie has had a particularly clumsy week, even for her. There was one day that seemed to be especially bad. She tripped over the same 4" step from the den into the living room numerous times, each incident ending with a long and lanky girl lying spread eagle in one room or the other. (We've lived here for 3 and a half years; you'd think at some point she'd learn to look out for her usual danger zones.) Same thing happened on the kitchen floor once that day, too--and there's no step there. She hurt her knee doing something or another and who knows what else. Then she and Joe were playing in the utility room (don't ask--I don't know why) and I heard a bad scream. Katie screams frequently and I've learned to judge the differences in tone and pitch pretty well. There's the "Hey, you took my toy" scream. Then there's the, "Ouch, I just did something painful" scream. There's the "I'm just crabby and need a good spankin' and maybe a nap, too" scream. And so on. The scream I heard in this particular incident was an "I'm REALLY hurting this time" scream. I could tell it was the real deal and was going to check on her when she suddenly came flying through the room--I mean right through, and kept on going--wailing all the way. She made another appearance and departure before I could even get my first words out. She continued her running and jumping and screaming and pretty soon I had joined in on the screaming part: "KATIE!!! Come in here and tell me--or at least show me!--what is wrong!!!!" "I ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-an't!" said the blur as it passed once more. I kept yelling at her to come to me and she just kept sailing through the room at warp speed saying "I can't!!!! It hu-u-u-u-u-u-u-urts!!!!!," her voice trailing behind her speeding body. I began to wonder if something might be broken or perhaps even severed--though obviously not a leg. It seemed like a long time (although it retrospect it was probably 20 seconds or less) until she was finally able to come to me and show me the fingers that had been smashed in the hinge side of a closing door. (No serious injuries, in case you're wondering.) The whole ordeal was frustrating, a little frightening to begin with, and all-in-all quite fascinating. I just kept wondering... What must it be like to have absolutely no control whatsoever over one's own body? I don't think I've ever experienced that before. Is it something that training can cure?! If so, how do you set up that training session??? I would really like to be able to help this child out, but there are so many times when I find myself shaking my head and shrugging my shoulders. I don't have a clue what to do with her! Help???

Then there's Sam. I was making lunch the other day and turned around to find him down on his hands and knees, licking the kitchen floor. "Sam!!!" I said, "What are you doing?!?!?" His expression showed a little confusion and a twinge of annoyance as he replied, "I spilled my juice." He was looking at me like I was some kind of a freak for asking such a dumb question--wasn't it obvious?!

*sigh* So the big question of the day is... WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!?!? I'm raising a bunch of little hoodlums who seem to think I'm weird for not understanding when they lose any and all self-control of their own person--or lick their juice up off the floor. ?! I'm doing the work--really! I'm not a slacker!!! I'm really, really, really trying to make decent human beings out of these kids, but I think they're about to whip me. They probably have secret meetings during nap time, planning their next strategic maneuver. "Okay, Joe--it's your turn. Maybe you should tie your bedsheet to the ceiling fan and..." All in an attempt to make Mama snap and end up in the loony bin so they can have free reign of the house.

It's late and I'm bushed. All the more after recounting the events of the past few days. I think I'm going to bed. Right after I go check on those little angels of mine... and make sure they're securely hand-cuffed to their beds until morning! HA!

See? Wasn't that so much more fun than, "I did laundry today... cooked soup... scrubbed a floor... blah, blah, blah..." I've tried a few times to amend my poor blogging habits, but have failed to ever get back to the JOY of blogging and creative writing. I did pull out a McManus book last night though, Mom, so maybe that will get my creative juices flowing and help me out. ;-)